Why?

I have had always a special liking for the word, ‘why?’ as a child I would always ask ‘why’ to my parents, teachers and neighbours. My ‘why(s)’ would focus on knowing something new or to get clarified on certain issues. My mother sometimes would get angry with me and would tell me to concentrate on studies. The person who would try to answer my ‘why(s)’ was my aunty, who was a nun. Whenever she would come home, I would always stay close to her and put forward all my why(s). Then over the years I found many people, who would listen to me. I was fortunate enough to live with some great intellectual Jesuits, who would eagerly response to my why(s).

Life!

Should I say I have only one life! I never even thought about it. But for the last few days it has been poking my head. I have begun to see many lives in me. Let’s be straight forward. I embraced student life almost 25 years ago, in between a few years of gap I still continue with my student life. When I joined with the Jesuits, I embraced religious life, then spiritual life, vowed life, intellectual life …then I added life in Calcutta, life in Chennai, life in Dublin, life in Rome…and list is endless. Have they divided my life into pieces!
Lately I have faced or rather began to see many challenges of life. I have no doubt to say that life is a struggle. But have I stopped! Have I given up my life! No!!! I have begun to see many new faces of life. Many more aspects of life are emerging within me. I am convinced with my Spiritual Director, who often says life is a process. These days I spend many hours confined in my room, looking at the books, remembering all the great personalities who have written and have spoken based on their life experiences. I do look at my experiences. I ponder over them. And then I look for many more experiences…

Words!

Among the many sayings of my mother, these days, often comes to my mind this one: “when you have nothing positive and constructive to say then keep quiet. It is far better to remain silence than to criticize or speak ill of others.”

Welcome 2012!


And we have entered in 2012! This time of the year, I always feel enthusiasm to do something special. Somehow I become a dreamer. I dream for a happy life for me as well as for others. I wish to see happiness all around me. I make some resolutions. I make plan for the New Year.

Christmas

Christmas brings a message of hope

(Christmas comes and Christmas goes...but does it leave any message! For some may be 'YES' for some may be 'NO'. But I always find something meaningful something special for my life...and this year is HOPE)

Every year on December 24, as the sun sets on the West, Christians all over the world begin to sing, “Silent night holy night, all is calm, all is bright….” and thus begins the celebration of Christmas, the remembrance of the birth of Jesus.

HE has a plan!

For the last couple of weeks I have been sick. It does not mean that I am bed ridden. There was no external sign. I have been doing everything normally as I was doing before. I met our house doctor several times but he seems to be taking very lightly. He neither examined my body nor did he ask me to do any x-ray. As my situation was becoming worse my Superior asked me to meet the doctor for the last time and then we would go to another doctor. With a heavy mind I went to meet the doctor. To my great surprise there was a different doctor. He came on a replacement. He was so kind to me. He gave a patient hearing to my problem. He also suggested the further course of action. As I was coming out of the doctor’s chamber I thought of meeting a person who resides just next door. Not sure of knowing where he was, I called him. He was in his room and asked me to come to his room. I went to his room and to my great surprise I found he had just returned from the hospital. He was admitted in the hospital and had an operation. I spent sometimes with him.

Life is a game!

The entire building of Gesu (my community) is square shape. Thus from my room I can see the other part of the building. We young Jesuits (those who are in formation) stay in side and other side is being used by the senior Jesuits. These senior Jesuits, after many years of service and active ministry are sent here for rest and prayer. From my window I can see windows of their rooms. Sometimes when the curtains are put aside I can even see their rooms, their movements. In the morning I usually open the window just to get the fresh air. Sometimes I see nuns and male nurses taking care of them. I often wonder that they must have helped so many people in their lifetime! I also think that one day I will have to move to other side. It may not be this very house but another community of Jesuits where senior Jesuits reside. This might take 30years, 40 years, 50 years or even more. But I will have to move and this is the reality.

The space between our block and the other side is being used as th basketball court. Basketball and sometimes football is being played here. I often consider this basketball court is my life. Within another two years I will have to put myself in this court. As in the game there is lose and victory, in my life too there will be success and failure, sorrows and happiness. There will be moment when people will praise me and again there will be moment when they condemn. But I will have to play this game. Life is really a game and it depends how do we play this game…!