(Just before entering into the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola, I was asked to present the autobiography of St Ignatius during a prayer vigil on the eve of the Spiritual Exercises (hereafter SpEx). I presented it in a letter format that St Ignatius writes to all the retreatants and narrates his own personal experiences. On the last day of the retreat, I began to pen the reply of his letter. This is just a personal experience.)
Dear Father Inigo,
I prefer to call you Inigo. I find more of personal
attachment with your family name, Inigo.
I had begun the journey to be with the Lord for 30
days (though it lasted for 32 days), following your instructions with a beautiful
prayer vigil. The marathon prayer got over with the Eucharistic celebration at
midnight. Thus, I entered into a monastic silence, both interior as well as
exterior.
I began with the meditation on “Principle and
Foundation” of the SpEx. You led me to experience that God has created
everything and if God is experienced as the centre of all, then there is no
need to deny anything, not even the world. While recognizing and praising God
in everything, I became aware of my brokenness. I am fragile, week...But how
beautifully you made me to feel that I am a loved sinner. You invited me to see
graces in my brokenness and experience God’s mercy and compassionate through
the sacrament of reconciliation. Then I began to contemplate on the incarnation.
Jesus is born for me (I prefer to say ‘only for me!’). While reflecting on the earthly
life of Jesus Christ, you inspired me to ask for the grace to know Jesus clearly,
follow him closely and love him dearly.
To make Jesus more personal, you led me to reflect on
the Baptism of Jesus, on his temptations, on his missions...I went on with Jesus,
wherever He went. The key meditations like Two
Standards helped me to have knowledge
of Christ, The Three classes helped me
to make my commitment to Christ way and finally The Three degree helped me to have loving
commitment to the person of Christ.
After having gone through the life and Mission of
Christ, I entered with him to the last days of his earthly life- his last
supper, suffering and death on the Cross. Deep within me I felt, Jesus was born
for me so did he die for me! But Jesus won over the death and was Risen- a new
life begins. I shared the joy of the disciples who were overwhelmed to meet the
Risen Lord. Then you led me to contemplate on the finding of God in everything.
Thus, I came to the end of the journey. I have roughly
touched upon the topics of mediations, but this journey was a process where I
became close to Jesus and I tried to see the world with the eyes of Jesus. And,
of course Father Ignatius, I tried to give you a chance to inspire me. You were
very much alive with me.
I know soon I will enter into the real world. I may
not have time to reflect and pray hours after hours (Neither you want from me!).
But the experiences that I had gathered will continue to inspire me to your
path by experiencing Christ in my life and in my mission.
Continue to inspire me, Father Inigo.
(Composed immediately after the Spiritual Exercises of
St Ignatius during Tertianship in Srilanka, 2021)
