Let’s talk about sexuality!
This is might be a crazy thing for a priest to talk about
sexuality! At least, as a young boy I never expected that priests should speak
on sex, sexuality or intimacy…! All I thought and believed that they were
angelic! They were beyond sexual desire and temptation. Oh, what a foolish I
was…
Let me begin with a personal experience. Usually at the end of
any session or a talk, sometimes, depending on the group, I ask the
participants to ask me any question, related to topic or beyond. I also polity
tell them that I would answer if only I knew. Once I was taking session for
over hundred students aged 16-18 on friendship. To capture their attention for
the entire morning, as I was asked to do so, I had to use a lot of stories, video
clips etc. At the end, I gave them time for clarification and questions. Many interesting
questions ranging from my childhood stories to vocation story then to the
experience of my first love…and what not! Suddenly one question brought the
entire group in a pinpoint
silence. Someone from the last seat asked me, “hey Father are you
sexually active?” Everybody looked at me. I paused for a while and before
answering his question, I told him that I have a question for him (a very
Jesuitica indeed!). “What do you mean by sexuality?” “Having genital sex with
opposite sex” he replied quickly. The entire class broke into laughter. “Well”,
I said “according to your definition I am not sexually active” but then I
looked at the participants and said, “but to the real sense of the word
sexuality, I am a sexually being.” “How
father?” Many asked!
“Sexuality is not genital sex. Sexuality is my entire self. I
am a human being as well as I am a sexual being. My sexuality is a gift that I received
from God. The way I talk, the way I deal with others, the way I relate to God-
reveal my sexuality” I replied spontaneously without any pause.
After many years of taking my vow of chastity, I begin to
realize that my vow of chastity makes me more free. It gives freedom to my
sexuality. It allows me to appreciate my body and helps me to be more
affective. It helps me to develop a relationship of giving and receiving based
on love. I am happy a human being- as a Jesuit, as a priest because I am happy
with my sexuality.
