Oh love!!!

“My life has been shattered. She has ruined me. Many a times, I read in the novels and watched in the films this sort of stories. But I never thought it would happen in my life too. You were right. I regret why I did not listen to you.’’ From the other side of the phone Piyal said as I received the phone. I was a bit shocked. Piyal (name changed) is one of my good friends. He is an ex-Jesuit. We stayed together six long years together. We have had many good memories. I was surprised and sad when he left the Jesuit. As far as I knew him, he had a heart for the poor and always wanted to work for the betterment of the people. But something happened along the way. When he informed me that he was leaving the Jesuits I was literally shocked. I could not talk to him much as I was far away from him. I tried to convince him. But his love for ‘her’ was too deep. As I knew the girl I asked him to be careful. I doubted about the motivation of the girl. But as saying goes, love is blind; my friend left the Jesuits for her. All he wanted to is to love here and have a good life.

But he never imaged that the girl was just playing with him. She played with him three long years. But at the end she eloped with a Hindu boy. All these years, she kept it secret and pretended others, specially her parents that she was having an affair with my friend. But when she found an appropriate time she eloped with him.

At the end of our conversation he asked me, “Why love has ruined my life?” I have no reply. I have no words of consolation for my friend. (To be continued)

Along the way!

Yesterday I was feeling a bit heavy. I was looking for something which would give me a break of my unusual activities. Suddenly it clicked me that I could accompany two of my companions as they were going to the ‘HOME’ of Mother Teresa Sisters’ for the weekly service. I called one of them and expressed my desire. He welcomed me and asked me to get ready soon.

An unexamined life is not worth living!


The very saying of Socrates, “An unexamined life is not worth living” was the theme of an essay which I had to write for the entrance test for my philosophical studies. I do not remember what exactly I wrote but I do well remember that the thought kept on lingering for quite sometimes. Today I finished my semester end exams. Last few days I was almost confined with books. I had spent hours after hours reading, writing and memorizing. I do not bother about the outcome as I always do. I know that I tried my best and worked hard. With these exams I have also completed half of my studies here in Rome. Should I examine my life at this point!

No! I do not make any general examination…rather I take the other way. I live out my life fully and let God examine my life!

Just by our words!

Recently I have come across a sentence, which reads, “I am not a handsome but I have a hand for someone.” How wonderful and meaningful these words. Often we consider, helping others mean in term of giving money or material goods. But in reality we can reach out to many people just by giving our time. There are many around us who want their stories to be listened. Or even just a smile could make a difference in other’s life.

Years back, after the three attempts I could enter the Indian High Commission to submit my application form for visa. As I was leaving the premises of the High Commission, I met a boy with a gloomy face. Out of my curiosity I asked him what was wrong with him. He told me that he had tried to enter the High Commission for the last few days but he could never enter because the queue was too long. He was about to give up the hope of submitting the application, though he was badly need of the visa. I had no salutation to offer him. I just asked him to try one more time and I assured him that he would get through this time. After exchanging our contact numbers I left the spot. Within an hour, I received a call from that particular boy, informing me that he had managed to enter the High Commission and submitted his application. He was overjoyed and thanked me for the advice. I felt shy as I had done nothing for him. This made me to think that how we could reach out to people with our simple words. The world is in need of you and me…Are you ready to reach out to others!

Why?

I have had always a special liking for the word, ‘why?’ as a child I would always ask ‘why’ to my parents, teachers and neighbours. My ‘why(s)’ would focus on knowing something new or to get clarified on certain issues. My mother sometimes would get angry with me and would tell me to concentrate on studies. The person who would try to answer my ‘why(s)’ was my aunty, who was a nun. Whenever she would come home, I would always stay close to her and put forward all my why(s). Then over the years I found many people, who would listen to me. I was fortunate enough to live with some great intellectual Jesuits, who would eagerly response to my why(s).

Life!

Should I say I have only one life! I never even thought about it. But for the last few days it has been poking my head. I have begun to see many lives in me. Let’s be straight forward. I embraced student life almost 25 years ago, in between a few years of gap I still continue with my student life. When I joined with the Jesuits, I embraced religious life, then spiritual life, vowed life, intellectual life …then I added life in Calcutta, life in Chennai, life in Dublin, life in Rome…and list is endless. Have they divided my life into pieces!
Lately I have faced or rather began to see many challenges of life. I have no doubt to say that life is a struggle. But have I stopped! Have I given up my life! No!!! I have begun to see many new faces of life. Many more aspects of life are emerging within me. I am convinced with my Spiritual Director, who often says life is a process. These days I spend many hours confined in my room, looking at the books, remembering all the great personalities who have written and have spoken based on their life experiences. I do look at my experiences. I ponder over them. And then I look for many more experiences…

Words!

Among the many sayings of my mother, these days, often comes to my mind this one: “when you have nothing positive and constructive to say then keep quiet. It is far better to remain silence than to criticize or speak ill of others.”