Coronavirus: A lazy thought (Part 2)

Coronavirus: A lazy thought (Part 2)

Yes! Finally, I have made it. I have remained in the closed door for 24 hours. It must have been one of the few days in Rome that I spent whole day inside the four wall! It is possible to break the usual habit when situation demands.

It was coincidental that I dedicated a good part of the day reading on Adlerian psychology. Alfred Adler has a positive approach to life as he says human beings are holistic, creative and responsible beings. He claims maladjusted persons are not ‘sick’ rather they are ‘discouraged’. He insists that every problem can be solved and invites us to ‘live in present’. I was also reminded the words of my founder (St Ignatius of Loyola)- “finding God in everything.” Where do I find God! What good do I find in this situation! What can I do! What can we do! The endless thoughts destroyed my ‘peace of mind’. 

I came out of my room to take a short stroll. Near the stair case, I met an Indian friend with a huge mug of coffee. The fragrance of coffee reminded me of coffee that I used to take in India. I was so tempted to grab the mug from him and take a sip! I wondered from where did he get Indian type home-made coffee? Usually we get coffee from the 'coffee machine' and the fragrance is entirely different. Before I could ask him anything, he smilingly said, “I was feeling boring in my room. I went to the small kitchen and prepared Indian style coffee.”  He entered into his room without even noticing my 'tempted face'.

I felt he was very innovative. It clicked me that even in this crucial time, we can do many simple things to rejuvenate ourselves. I returned to my room and immediately took a pen and began to write of what we can do during this time of coronavirus.

1.      We can spend time with ourselves. Often we say- we are busy people in a busy world. It is time when we can enjoy our presence. We can feel our emotions, listen to our desires and dream for a better tomorrow.

2.      We can spend time with our near and dear ones. Perhaps, someone wants to share something personal. We can also share our personal stories to someone.

3.      We can even spend time with the Lord, who is our creator and saviour. It is a time that we can build personal relationship with Him.

4.      We may get in touch with a friend, whom we have not contacted for so many days. We can just call him/her up or send a mail. It refreshes our lives when we recall our old memories.

5.      We can devout sometimes to any creative work. We may have had many hobbies in the past. But our hectic life must have forced us to give up all our hobbies. It is the time that we can get back to these good hobbies. 

6.      We can read a book, watch a film or listen to the music that we wanted do for a long time. (To be continued)

Coronavirus: A lazy thought (Part 1)

Coronavirus: A lazy thought (Part 1)

It takes just seven to eight minutes to reach to the university from my residence. It is the same road that I have been taking for the last four years. I wonder that I might even go to the university by closing my eyes! Along the way, I meet and greet certain people like restaurant waiters, street vendors, shopkeepers...

I ‘had’ to go to the university today. Every day, I go to the university but today I ‘had’ to go! As I was leaving the community, I was surprised when the receptionist wanted to know the motive of going out. Usually he never asks. He listened to me carefully and finally said, “be careful.”

The narrow road going to the university was empty- a complete deserted look. There were very few vehicles. Public transports were running without any passengers. The street vendors, near Via del Corso, happen to be my countrymen, were with masks. They were sad and frightened. One of them greeted me and said, “be careful.”

I have been entering into the university building for the last four years. I know every corner of the building. I was surprised when the receptionist stopped and asked me where I was going. It was for the first time! I had to explain the motive of coming to the university. With a puzzled look, she said, “be careful.”

I had gone to meet a professor. The professor, who usually takes a lot of time, took less than a minute. I was surprised that she did not even ask me to sit down. At the end, her simple advice was- “be careful.”

I went to my work place. It is always crowded. I found just one of my class-mates was sitting in the office. I was surprised that she greeted me very softly. She is the most social-able and outgoing person that I have met in Room. Her usual smile was missing and she did not even show any interest to talk to me. As I parted from her, she said, “be careful.”

As I was returning back to my community, I was reflecting on “be careful” that I had heard from many people. In fact, many seem to be warning me- don’t do this, don’t do that. I have also received a few instructions of what I should not do during this time from the authority. Reflecting on their words, suddenly I asked myself – what can I do these days! (to be continued)

Narrowing down!

Narrowing down!

Having a meal with a friend (preferably in a restaurant!), discussing a number of issues, is something that I always look forward to. Ever since I met Mariano (just a week ago), I was surprised to see his curiosity to know new things and his insightful opinions. He critically observes things from a different perspective and tries to bring something new.  We have had difference of opinions on number of issues but this has not become a barrier in our friendship. Moreover, reflecting over certain disputed issues that I had with him, made me more ‘awaken to the realities’.

Let me share what we discussed during lunch. We were trying to get ‘connotation and etymology’ of a particular word. At one point, he went to bring his dictionary and eventually encyclopaedia to get the meaning. While he was glancing through the pages, I took my smartphone and browsed into ‘google’. He looked at me and commented smilingly, “this is the problem of our time. We want everything instant, readymade and prepared. This small device (pointed to smartphone) makes our world small. We are narrowing down our thinking patters, working ability and creative sense.” I did not agree with him. I put forward my own perspective of smartphone. He gave his own opinions and I gave my own counter opinions. Eventually, after lunch, I returned to my room to take a short nap.

While lazing on bed, I took my smartphone again. I wanted to get some points as I was to give a talk in the same evening. But before putting my password, I was reminded the words of friend, “smartphone is narrowing down our world.” I asked myself, “what am I going to do with this device?” I was looking for something instant, readymade and prepared. I stopped for a while. How true the words of my friend!

My first heart beats!

It was about 20 years ago, I was then in the Jesuit noviciate in Calcutta, India. I had just begun to learn English. I would read all sorts of magazines, books and would collect phrases or sentences that would appeal to me. One day, I happened to read an article titled ‘my first heart beats’. The title captured my attention. It was very simple but catchy. I still remember the title, though I don’t remember the content of the article. I wanted to write an article and use the same title. Finally, just two days ago, I had an experience that made me to feel ‘my first heart beats’.

After the day long sessions, I was having a leisure walk in the evening with a Jesuit friend in Berkeley, California. It is my first visit to USA. Thus, I try to observe every little thing with uttermost attention.  After crossing the campus of the university of California, we came to the Berkeley city centre. My friend wanted to take an ice-cream. Due to cold weather, I decided not to take ice-cream. But I followed my friend to the shop. Suddenly I saw a middle-aged woman entered into the shop with her daughter. Both were in shabby dress, looking very pale but with innocent smile. The woman asked for just one spoon full of ice-cream for her daughter and gave one cent to the shopkeeper. The little girl was extremely happy when she got just one spoon of ice-cream. The woman made her to say ‘thank you’ before taking ice-cream. Then they went out of the shop. Everything was happening so fast that I did not know what to do. I was just overserving them helplessly.

There was an elderly gentleman, sitting just near the door asking for alms. As the lady came out of the shop, he called her and wanted to give her ten dollars to buy an ice-cream for her daughter. The woman gently declined to take the money from him. She thanked him again and again.

I overserved everything from the shop. I immediately came out of the shop and thanked the elderly man. He looked at me and said, “it is nothing special. I wanted to give an ice-cream for the little girl. They must be having financial cries.”

I was stunned. I lost in words. It was for the first time in America that my heart beats…yes, really I felt it. The smiling face of the girl, the kind gesture of the elderly man and love of a mother will remain with me always…

Staying awake with net!

Staying awake with net!

There were number of occasions, when I spoke in favour of using social media specially to the youth. To make my position strong, I would often give the example of my own experience with social media. Years back, when I was doing a year of pastoral experience in Ireland, I constantly used social media to reach out to the youth. It was a very handy tool for me and it bore many fruits. But recently, I had encountered an incident, which made me to think the use of social media, special among the youngsters. 

Changing the profile picture of Facebook!

It was after repeated reminders and comments, finally I decided to change the profile picture of my Facebook account. I had kept the same picture for almost six years. It was around 10.00pm (in Italy) and 2.00am (in Bangladesh) when I signed in to change the photo. Within 5 minutes, just before signing out, I found there were more than 30 people who reacted to my profile picture. Just out of curiosity, I checked the list of people who reacted to my profile picture and to my great surprise, I found almost all of them were youngsters and from Bangladesh. Naturally they were all students too!

I signed out and put off the lap-top. I thought of all these youngsters who were 'awake' with net. Their parents must be peacefully sleeping just in the next room, thinking their dear children were asleep. They must have gone to bed with dreams for their children that one day their children would fulfil their dreams!

I was sad because I knew many of these youngsters personally. I knew the dreams of their parents for them. I also knew that they were not doing anything useful work on-line.  

I am not very active on Facebook, forget about being famous. I use it only for sending messages and avoid anything on screen. I wonder if a ‘passive’ person like me gets 30 likes within five minutes at this odd hour, what about the people who are more active!

It is very alarming to see many young boys and girls wasting their precious time with social media when they are supposed to study and sleep. At this age, they are supposed to have dream for their life and keep trying to fulfil them. But on the contrary, they are destroying the dreams of their parents, forget of having their own dreams for future!

Perhaps it is right time for parents, teachers, leaders, elders who are peacefully sleeping, to get up and make sure our children stay awake in fulfilling their dreams…

Adieu Fr Aelred Gomes SJ!

The person who moulded me as a Jesuit…

On August 1, while offering Mass in the morning, I got a few missed calls from a Jesuit companion. Guessing something important, immediately after the Mass, I called him back. On receiving my call, he said, “Fr Aelred Gomes is no more.” This news came to me as a huge shock. I was well informed about his illness, but his sudden departure was beyond my imagination. Last year around this time, I spoke to him over the phone. He inquired about my study, my future plan, and promised to share with me certain issues when we meet in person. Had I known that would be my last conversation with him, I would have talked to him a little more!

My first meeting…

In 1998, I was studying in Notre Dame College and was staying in the BCS hostel, Asad Gate in Dhaka. It was the time that I began to interact with the Jesuits (the Society of Jesus), that later become my second home. I was in touch with Fr Jerry Gomes SJ (then a scholastic) and was trying to explore the possibility of joining the Jesuits. One day, Fr Jerry informed me that his Provincial Superior, Fr Aelred Gomes SJ, was on an official visit to Bangladesh and he would come to the hostel to meet me. I was little bit nervous and anxious to meet an Indian priest. But the simplicity of his life and the intellectual calibre had touched me on the first meeting itself. He wore very simple dress, had put on cheap sandals and carried an ordinary handbag with him. After the initial talk, he began to talk Rabindranath Tagore, Bangla band, cinema, computer, cricket...finally just before leaving, he invited me to join the Jesuits after the final exam.

My second meeting…

I did join the Jesuits in Dhaka after my final exam in 1999 along with another four companions. In 2000, having completed his tenure as provincial Superior, Fr Aelred came to Bangladesh for a short break. We began to stay in the same community and he began to teach us English. His creative method of teaching English was remarkable. Once during prayer on the Eid day, the biggest Muslim festival, he made us read a short refection on the inner meaning of Eid from the Bengali newspaper Prothom Alo and asked us to reflect and pray. It was the first time ever in my life that I had the taste of a different prayer. During his stay with us, he made us to see, reflect and know the world from a very different perspective. He was always eager to learn and could easily engage in conversation from spirituality to computer, from art to sport, from philosophy to politics …and list is endless.

My third meeting…that till the end of his life

After having completed the pre-noviciate in Dhaka, I along with another three companions were sent to Calcutta for the Noviciate, the first canonical stage of Jesuit formation. Just before going for the Noviciate, we were told that Fr Aelred Gomes would be our Novice Master. Thus, in the Noviciate, I began a journey with him, which lasted almost till his death.

I have many memories of Fr Aelred. He is the man who moulded me as a Jesuit.

Today, 

• If I claim that I have some Ignatian spirit or Jesuit spirit, it is because of him.
• If I claim that I have certain principles and philosophy of life, it is because of him.
• If I claim that I love Tagore songs, or classical Bengali films, it is because of him.
• If I claim that I can pray with text of some great personalities or Sacred Scriptures of other religions, it is because of him.
• If I claim to enjoy the inner beauty of consecrated life it is because of him.

I have many memories of Fr Aelred. I am ever grateful to all that he had done and been to me. Thanks Fr Aelred for being so kind to me, for inserting in me the spirituality of St Ignatius and for encouraging me for what I am today. We shall meet again...till then continue to inspire me...

(This short piece I penned immedieately on hearing the death news of Fr Aelred Gomes SJ)

Looking back and turning forward

15 years ago on this day...

June 21, 2002, the day marked as my first commitment (first vows) to the Society of Jesus. We were 13 of us, of which six are ordained priests, two will be ordained soon, two professed brothers and three have found their new vocation in married life.

The memory of the day is still vivid to me. Our novice master made sure that we were ready spiritually. We had eight days retreat just before the vows day. During retreat, just to compile together all my sentiments and feelings, I composed a song which was sung on the vows day.

I don't claim that I was ready for three vows or I knew the intrinsic meaning of the three vows. At the end of two years of noviciate, I applied for vows and was given permission to pronounce three vows in the presence of Fr Provincial. I enjoyed the day with my companions. I enjoyed the festivity. I enjoyed the greetings of the many Jesuits, "welcome to the club."

After 15 long years, I am convinced that three vows were three traffic signals that directed my journey. I begin to realize that these vows never bound me rather set me free. They helped me to be more real human being. They helped me to acknowledge my shortcomings and failures.

Today, after 15 long years, I am reminded that the grace of the Lord is with me. It is an assurance that he accepts me as I am. Perhaps, today he invites me to build a bridge between my real self and actual self...