That was enough!

13/03/2013 at 19:00!

We, eight of us along with our two formators, were waiting for a bus at the bus station. It was drizzling and rather cool breeze was blowing. All of us sudden we saw our Spiritual Father, aged 70, was approaching to us almost running. “There is white smoke” he said from rather distance, “we have a Pope.”

That was enough to changed our planned programme. We immediately got into a bus which would take us to St Peter’s Square. But bus was moving very slow, as there was heavy traffic. “Let’s go walking” said someone. ''It might take a few hours to reach Vatican with the bus and I am getting down from the bus'' said one of my formators and got down from the bus.

That was enough for all of us to get down from the bus and began to walk. We were joined by many who were almost running to reach to Vatican. It was incredible. I have never seen people running like that in Rome. The church bells began to ring.

That was enough to announce the good news. By the time we reached at the St Peter’s Square, the Square was almost filled with people. We pushed though people and went ahead as much as we could. All the eyes were fixed to the balcony, from where the new Pope would address. A great excitement of who has been elected as the new Pope. There were a few names going around. Almost an hour later, appeared a Cardinal and said, we have the new Pope and he is…! All were silent. “He is a Jesuit from Argentina” exclaimed one of my companions.

That was enough  for me to remain a standstill for a while. ‘A Jesuit pope!’ ‘How it is possible!’ ‘What a strange thing to have a Jesuit pope.’ ‘What would happen now?’… And many more comments. Then after a few minutes appeared a man, white dressed. He began to speak the language of ordinary people. He asked people to pray for him.

That was enough for the world that we a have a completly different man to guide the Church. The rest is history. He created a history. He won the hearts of all. People began to say- ‘He is different’, ‘He is so humble’, and ‘He is so simple.’

That was enough for me to appreciate my vocation  as a Jesuit. He appeared to me a man with great simplicity. He gave a message of great simplicity. His gestures invited to go deep into my vocation. It was also a 'turning point' for me as I was getting ready for diaconate ordination. I was touched...

Frankly speaking I really do not agree when people say that the world is very complicated. The world is simple. But there are some people who make it complicated. Perhaps the simple gestures of the new Pope invite us to look into our lives. Are we simple? Or are we complicating the simple thing? Was that not enough?

Faith: Why?

I write this post with a heavy heart! I am sad! I am angry! I asked again and again ‘why’?

For the last few days I have browsed newspapers of my country again and again. Each time I found rather sad stories. There was also fear of where would my country go from here? ‘Again’ in the name of the God a certain section of the majority was attacking the minorities. They have not only attacked their houses but also the places of worship. I asked God, “Where are you? Why are you not helping innocent people?

God remained silent. He did not answer me. But He helped me to realize that He is amidst the suffering people. He is suffering with them. Perhaps He is asking us all, “Why?”

Faith, hope and love!

I can loudly say, though some may not agree with me (!) that we almost spent our first week of the second semester reflecting on three words: faith, hope and love. Different professors ‘broke’ these three words from the different point of views. Though my professors developed these words based on Christian theology, scripture, ethics, here I made an attempt to look at them from a ‘secular’ point of view (theology in daily life!).

Hope: turning dark in to light!

I did not have any choice than to observe the entire episode. Each time I called my father, I would listen to rather sad stories from him. He was planning to visit me in Rome, but obtaining visa for Italy seems to be impossible. He has done all that he could do. He was almost giving up hope. In spite of my anxiety, I remained rather calm and cool. Somewhere deep within me I had a hope that everything would come along the way in due time.

Last Monday I spoke with my father to know the latest development and the result was as usual. While talking to my father, I saw a priest friend of mine was on line. Though for a long time we did not have any contact, I asked him if we could skyp for a while. He readily accepted and showed great eagerness. We spoke for a while, and then I said, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course” he said immediately. “I can do anything for you.”

I knew when he said he can do anything for me, he really meant it. Then I narrated to him the entire episode. Once I finished, he said, “Ripon this is my work. I will make sure that everything is done. You do not need to be worried. You get ready to receive your parents at the airport.”

He has done what he could do. He spoke to my father and gave the instruction of what to do. The next day when I spoke with my father, he sounded to me very happy. He began to dream to visit me. Though he is yet to get visa, but he has got a hope. My priest friend gave him that great hope.

In our modern world we often lose our hope. In certain context our life is controlled by the machine. We want everything instant. If something goes wrong, we give up.

Back to the class in my own way: Jesus brought hope to many. He gave hope to the woman, who was sick, or to the father whose daughter had a sudden death or to the sisters who lost their brother. Many found hope and new life in his words. Often I think as religious, we are often called to bring hope. There are lots of people around us, who need just a little hope. Some might need a little encouragement or a little gentle touch. Are we ready?

Faith, hope and love!

I can loudly say, though some may not agree with me (!) that we almost spent our first week of the second semester reflecting on three words: faith, hope and love. Different professors ‘broke’ these three words from the different point of views. Though my professors developed these words based on Christian theology, scripture, ethics, here I made an attempt to look at them from a ‘secular’ point of view (theology in daily life!).

Love: come back to me!

Unexpectedly I noticed a few sentences written in Bangla on the facebook, posted by a person whom I knew quite knew. I was also aware of the inner struggle he was going through. His words were so powerful that I called him immediately and spoke for sometimes. At the end I asked him if I could translate his words into English and post them in my blog. He gave me permission. Here you go…

“There are two very powerful realities: Time passes and the people changes. Now we do not require any reason to change. We can change and do change ourselves without any reason. Sometimes, people very close to you become unknown to you. But in this drama of changes, some people remain the same. They remain as they are. Perhaps they are most lonely person in this world! I am one of them. I tried to change myself, but I could not. Is it really necessary to change? You changed yourself. You left me. Come back to me, my love. You are my life, my love. I need you only, because you are my love.”

These words reflect of a true love. From my personal encounter with that person I can say his love was really genuine and self-giving. Unfortunately this true love has had an untimely death. One person hold on to love and the other left the love. ‘The love’ which could have been the source of a beautiful life has turned in to reason to say ‘NO’ to life.

Back to my classroom: Jesus loved us so much that he laid down his life. He wanted us all to live in his love. What does it mean to live in the love of Jesus? Should I answer this question? No! I leave it to be discovered…and I continue to listen to my professors!!!

(Next post on ‘hope’…)

The beauty of ‘being’ together!

(We often concentrate on ‘doing’ and neglect ‘being’. In this new column I would like to ponder over some of experiences of being together. These are based on my personal experiences of different Jesuit communities, where I lived and worked!)

It was last week, just before my anthropology exam. I had to burn my midnight oil to prepare for the exam. Early morning when I opened my notes, everything seemed to new to me. I was really nervous and frightened! I thought of getting out of my room and get some fresh air.

I opened the door and found a little piece of paper hanging outside my door. I took it and found it was written in Italian:

Things necessary for exams!

1. Courage- I wish for you
2. Prayer- we have prayed for you
3. Confidence- you have it
4. Preparation- you have done it already

Best wishes…

I read it once,twice,thrice…! So powerful! So meaningful! It was written by a Jesuit companion. I knew him quite well. Occasionally we spend time and share certain things. But I could never imagine that he could touch me in such a personal way! Perhaps this is the beauty of being together.

Perhpas one day!

The note of Eschatology is opened on my table. The words like- death, heaven, hell, resurrection- are repeated again and again.
Entered my Jesuit companion in my room, looking at the notes said, “So we die one day!”
“Yes! It’s the reality. No one can avoid it” I said.
“Oh life! So mysterious” he said philosophically.
“There are certain things in life we cannot do” I said.
“Of course we can do, may be in different ways” he replied.
“We cannot go back to our childhood” I said in a soft voice.
“Sure! But we can do certain things that children do” he replied smilingly.
“But then people will tell to me that I am a child. My behaviors are childish” I said, thinking that I have said logically.
“But you can be child-like minded” he replied.
“How?” I asked.
“Forget about all these complicated of life. Learn to laugh at your mistakes. Go and talk with a stranger. Ask question. Play with everyone. Be happy. Do not judge anyone. Live in present” he said and looked at me, “would you like to try!”
Should we allow a child to grow within us? Did not Jesus invite us to be like a child?

(my) Love story!

(This is incredible! Something really strange! How a celebrant could write about his love story, which took place after making solemn promise of chastity? Here I take pen to tell one of my love stories! I did not fall in love instead I rose in love…!)

A sudden miss called from her surprised me. I knew there was something particular. I called her back. “Oh Ripon, I am dying to tell you. My parents have arranged a marriage for me. The boy is good and I am happy about it!” she said without any breath once I said “hello.”
“Congratulation! I am so happy for you.”
“I know you cannot come for my marriage but on Feb 6, on the day of my marriage you must call me and send a gift for me.”
“I will try.”
“What do you mean by you will try. You must. You have to. You are my friend and I can demand certain things from you. This is the right of my friendship.”
Then she kept on speaking…
When I put back my phone, I was in deep thought of the nostalgia. I sank in the memory lane. It was in the year of 2003. After three years of initial Jesuit formation, I was asked to do my graduation studies in a public college rather than going to a Jesuit run college. In the college I was like any other ordinary boy, and almost nobody knew that I was preparing to become a Catholic Priest.
On the first day, when I entered in to the class-room, I was a bit surprised to see that there were roughly forty girls and only three boys. I have never before studied in a co-educational institution. I was puzzled of where to sit. At this point I saw a girl from the last row was asking me come next to her. I went and sat next to her.
During the first hour, I introduced myself as Bangladeshi, a foreigner and lone. During the second hour the Principal came and spoke to us in English. As he did not know Bengoli, he asked someone to translate in to Bengoli of what he said. I was the only one who could speak English. Thus from the first day itself I was the centre of attraction!
Within a few weeks we formed a group. We were five in the group- two boys and three girls. Soon I discovered among the three girls, a particular girl was taking interest on me. Outside class she would try to be close to me. As I was aware of my identity of a celebrant and did not want to 'fall in love' with a girl, one day I told her that I was preparing to be a Catholic priest. I had to explain to her what it meant to be a Catholic priest, as she was a Hindu. I thought, after hearing the aim of my life, she would keep certain distance. But to my surprise, I found she was becoming more close to me.
Then time came for vacation. The college was closed for almost for a month. On the reopening day, she said that she had brought a gift for me. During the break we went to the college canteen. She handed over to me a Crucifixion. Then looking at the Crucifixion, she said, “Ripon, I want to see you as a holy priest like Him.”
That was enough for me. That gave me a lot of freedom to grow. There grew a mutual trust and faith. We have grown in a loving friendship. She would often say that she loves me like a friend. We were in the college for three years. Many memories! Many incidents!
Just before leaving Calcutta for Dublin, we five of us got together for a ‘farewell party’. It was somewhere near Victoria Park in Calcutta. We all sat together, recalling our past days- specially days of exams. Laughter, jokes, eating spicy food…! When it was getting dark, we knew that the girls needed to be returned home. At the end we were rather silent for sometimes. In silence, we felt the presence of each other. There were no words but just our being together. At the time of departure, she handed over to me an envelope. She asked me to open it when I get back home. When I opened the envelope, I found in a small paper she wrote,

“Remember me when you are sad, when you are alone, when no one is around you, when things do not go well with you. I will be there with you.”

Then we parted…it is almost four years that we have not seen each other. We all have taken different roads. After so many days, I was happy to know about her marriage.

Yes, in life we cross across many people. But only certain people remain in our hearts. We may not meet them anymore. But their presence is always with us. We grow in a loving relationship. We create a love story. In this love story we do not need to be lovers.

It is true that we do not have any problem to find people to share our joy, happiness, success, dreams... But to find someone to tell about failure, stupid mistake, shortcoming is not easy. But there are people…perhaps sometimes we do not notice them…