(my) Love story!

(This is incredible! Something really strange! How a celebrant could write about his love story, which took place after making solemn promise of chastity? Here I take pen to tell one of my love stories! I did not fall in love instead I rose in love…!)

A sudden miss called from her surprised me. I knew there was something particular. I called her back. “Oh Ripon, I am dying to tell you. My parents have arranged a marriage for me. The boy is good and I am happy about it!” she said without any breath once I said “hello.”
“Congratulation! I am so happy for you.”
“I know you cannot come for my marriage but on Feb 6, on the day of my marriage you must call me and send a gift for me.”
“I will try.”
“What do you mean by you will try. You must. You have to. You are my friend and I can demand certain things from you. This is the right of my friendship.”
Then she kept on speaking…
When I put back my phone, I was in deep thought of the nostalgia. I sank in the memory lane. It was in the year of 2003. After three years of initial Jesuit formation, I was asked to do my graduation studies in a public college rather than going to a Jesuit run college. In the college I was like any other ordinary boy, and almost nobody knew that I was preparing to become a Catholic Priest.
On the first day, when I entered in to the class-room, I was a bit surprised to see that there were roughly forty girls and only three boys. I have never before studied in a co-educational institution. I was puzzled of where to sit. At this point I saw a girl from the last row was asking me come next to her. I went and sat next to her.
During the first hour, I introduced myself as Bangladeshi, a foreigner and lone. During the second hour the Principal came and spoke to us in English. As he did not know Bengoli, he asked someone to translate in to Bengoli of what he said. I was the only one who could speak English. Thus from the first day itself I was the centre of attraction!
Within a few weeks we formed a group. We were five in the group- two boys and three girls. Soon I discovered among the three girls, a particular girl was taking interest on me. Outside class she would try to be close to me. As I was aware of my identity of a celebrant and did not want to 'fall in love' with a girl, one day I told her that I was preparing to be a Catholic priest. I had to explain to her what it meant to be a Catholic priest, as she was a Hindu. I thought, after hearing the aim of my life, she would keep certain distance. But to my surprise, I found she was becoming more close to me.
Then time came for vacation. The college was closed for almost for a month. On the reopening day, she said that she had brought a gift for me. During the break we went to the college canteen. She handed over to me a Crucifixion. Then looking at the Crucifixion, she said, “Ripon, I want to see you as a holy priest like Him.”
That was enough for me. That gave me a lot of freedom to grow. There grew a mutual trust and faith. We have grown in a loving friendship. She would often say that she loves me like a friend. We were in the college for three years. Many memories! Many incidents!
Just before leaving Calcutta for Dublin, we five of us got together for a ‘farewell party’. It was somewhere near Victoria Park in Calcutta. We all sat together, recalling our past days- specially days of exams. Laughter, jokes, eating spicy food…! When it was getting dark, we knew that the girls needed to be returned home. At the end we were rather silent for sometimes. In silence, we felt the presence of each other. There were no words but just our being together. At the time of departure, she handed over to me an envelope. She asked me to open it when I get back home. When I opened the envelope, I found in a small paper she wrote,

“Remember me when you are sad, when you are alone, when no one is around you, when things do not go well with you. I will be there with you.”

Then we parted…it is almost four years that we have not seen each other. We all have taken different roads. After so many days, I was happy to know about her marriage.

Yes, in life we cross across many people. But only certain people remain in our hearts. We may not meet them anymore. But their presence is always with us. We grow in a loving relationship. We create a love story. In this love story we do not need to be lovers.

It is true that we do not have any problem to find people to share our joy, happiness, success, dreams... But to find someone to tell about failure, stupid mistake, shortcoming is not easy. But there are people…perhaps sometimes we do not notice them…

(my) 'Mission' (?) at night!

As part of my ‘reaching out to others’ every Tuesday evening I go out with the community of San Egido. We go around the busy places of Rome, looking for the homeless people. We give them snacks, hot milk/tea and cloths. We also spend a good deal of time talking to them. On January 8, 2013 was my first day of this year. I spent roughly two hours. What did I see! What did I experience! What did I feel! Let’s have a quick ‘flash back’!

At 8:45pm

We gathered in front of the Church of the St Mark. We divided us into different groups. I was with Fredrico, an Italian. I had been with Fredrico even before. He was driving the car and asked me to carefully look for person whom might need our help. Something beautiful to think that we seek for others to offer our help! Often in life, we approach others to seek help!

At 9:10 pm

We were in front of the Church of St Augustine. There were three persons. I knew two of them already. Let me tell about the third person, whom I met for the first time. As soon as he heard that I was from Bangladesh, he began to tell all the stories of Bangladesh. He was rather up-to-date about the current situation of my country. I asked him from where he got all the information. “Oh there are so many Bangladeshi on the street. I talk to them, ask them and get to know” he replied quickly. “You are great” I said. “We need to talk to people. Talk whatever you like and feel. Do not wait for any opportunity, occasion or reason to talk. There are many people who want to share their stories” he smiled and said. I was stunned. I stay in a community where we have people from almost 20 countries. But I hardly know about their countries or I would imagine any of my community members would know anything about my country too!

At 9:35pm

She has no one in this world. At this rather advanced stage of her life she sits quietly, gazing at the faces of people. We offered her a jacket as it was very cold. She said that she had enough cloths instead she asked us to take it to another person who would be needed it. But she accepted two oranges from us. She said, “These things you brought for me out of love. I accept your love. We should never deny love. Love others and be loved.”

At 9:50pm

We were in front of the Church of St Mary Minerva. We found Kashir there. Kashir is an Indian, belonging to Sikh religion. He hardly speaks any Italian. He has lost all his documents. Whatever money he gets from people, he spends them on eating and drinking. With my broken Hindi I managed to talk with him. At the end, I asked him to pray for us. He requested us to wait for a while. And he began to pray. The way he prayed showed me a great lesson. He was pleading God again and again for us.

At 10:10pm

We were in front of the Pantheon. There were two people. We met them before and we know they were friends. But today we found them in two different places. Both of them have taken place on the both sides of the main door of the Pantheon. When we were talking to one person the other was getting angry. He was calling us to go to him. When we went to him, first thing he asked if his enemy (was friend before) had told us anything against him. Oh what a life…friend becomes enemy and enemy becomes friend…the mystery of life never ending!

At 10:45pm

Another elderly man was sitting close to Pantheon. We met him before too. He always wears a smiling face and has word of appreciations for us. He always says, "be happy and be positive. In life, you never get answers of certain questions. Do not spend too much time thinking of them."We had quick chat with him and left some food.

At 10:55pm

I returned to my community. I went to the refectory to get some food for me. While eating alone, I reflected all the wonderful people I met over the two hours…they have, in many ways, unfolded the mystery of life to me.

Welcome 2013!

On January 7, 2013, the first day class of the University. The bell has gone and the professor has entered in the class. I opened my note book and wrote on the top of the page the date- 7/01/12. My classmate sitting next to me kicked my leg and said in a soft voice, it is 2013. I looked at my note book and realized my mistake. I erased it and rewrote the correct date.

Yet another year has begun. I must admit that I have embraced the New Year in a right place, with a right person, and in a right situation. When I wished my friend ‘happy New Year’ at midnight I was reminded of the ‘changes’ of this New Year would take place in my life. There is going to be a new beginning. A sudden sense of uncertainty engulfed me. In the midst of the artificial lights, I looked at the sky to place my naked self. In fact I often I look at the sky, when things are uncertain and do not go well with me. I find there is always place for me. I have fear to sink deep within myself. But wide sky calls me to sink, to fly, to dream…! The wide sky invites me to have a big heart and a simple life.

Life is a mystery! We are all called to take part in this mystery. Perhaps this year I will more actively participate in this mystery of life…

(my) Thought at Christmas!

Yesterday, in the midst of our retreat, I was entering to the dinning room for the meal. I noticed in the guest book, the name of God in Italian ‘Dio’ was written as the guest for the lunch. I do not know who wrote it or what purpose. Someone must have written it as a simple joke or the writer must have meant it. But this caught my attention. I went to eat, asking myself- can Jesus really be our guest?


This time of the year, when we prepare for the Christmas, we remember and reflect on the Incarnation of God’s Son, Jesus. He comes into our midst. He becomes like one of us.

What I love most of the Christmas is the embrace between Divine and Human. Jesus becomes one of us and shows us the light. He gives us hope and leads us to a new life. On the day of his birth he brings all together under the same umbrella. The rich, poor, wise, stupid…all were equal to him!

For me Christmas comes with an invitation to see around, specially to those who are less privileged. It is an invitation to reach out to them. This can be done just with a smile or gentle word! Are we ready to accept this invitation?

And then I ask myself!

(In this new column, ‘And then I ask myself’, I try to reflect on certain contradictories of life…unfolding my answerless questions)

Bridge between ‘near and distance’

Last summer I spent roughly a month in Gallarate, an infirmary for retired and sick priests. One evening when I was reading newspaper, a senior priest came to me and said, “You are a young man. Tell me something about facebook?” I did not expect such question but it was easy for me to answer his question. At the end I asked him, why he wanted to know about facebook and willingly offered my help if he intended to open a facebook account. He gave a big smile, took a chair and sat next to me. Then we had a long chat together. Among the many topics we dealt I still remember the event of his fast encounter with facebook. Let me tell you briefly what he shared with me.

He went for summer holidays along with another few priests. There was a particular priest, who teaches in a reputed university, was seen often with his iPod. He would be typing always. Out of curiosity, this senior priest asked him what he was doing with this small device. The university professor told him that he had almost four thousands followers on facebook, who would ask him questions related to faith and spirituality. He would answer them and he considers it was his mission to reach out to many.

At this point that senior priest told me that he had appreciated his good work but it would have been really good if he could spend sometimes with his friends who were with him. And then he looked at me and said in a soft voice, “Always give time to the people who are around you. Do not get addicted to machines, they do not have any heart!” I must admit that I liked the conversation of that evening. It was really thought-provoking. I decided to follow his advice

Then my busy life began once bell rang for the university. Suddenly the other day I remembered that ‘chat’. Why? Let me unfold to you…The other day we had a community gathering. It was relaxed evening, we were having chat. At one point I remembered that I had made a skyp appointment with a friend. I rushed to my room and chatted with my friend for more than an hour. But at the end of the conversation when closed my computer I remember that words of that particular senior priest. I could have finished with my friend within five minutes and spend more time with my community members!

It was another occasion when my words contradicted my action. And then I asked myself, “How can I bridge between near and distance?”

And then I ask myself! (part - 1)

(In this new column, ‘And then I ask myself’, I try to reflect on certain contradictories of life…unfolding my answerless questions)

Walk the talk!
Though I have forgotten the name of that particular Bangla film, but the story I do still remember very well. The story was based on a young boy, who was running a popular radio programme. He would often take the life related incidents and offer advices to the people. He had brought smile and joy to the life of many.

But the story took a dramatic u-turn when that boy met a girl, through his radio program. Soon they became friends. As the days went by, they began to spend more time together and began to share ‘joy and sorrows’ of their life. At one point the boy felt that he was in love with that girl but he could never express his desire. After sometimes the girl fell in love with another boy and decided to get married with him. On hearing that news the hero was totally broke down. No words of consolation worked for him! He was sad and left the radio programme. He ended up his life into a miserable condition. The story ended with a message, that if you love someone, tell him or her before it is too late. But the question I asked for myself was- why the hero could not apply some of his 'words of wisdom' which he would offer to others for himself?

Life is such- we are good at speaking. We often get into the habit of advising people. In my country we jokingly say that there is only one thing we get without paying is- advice. Personally often I find myself naked before the life related situations. The words of wisdom, which I might have given to many, do not work for myself. And then today, I ask myself, “Why can’t I walk the talk?”

Perhaps in the journey of life I will one day find the answer and I wait for that day…

Everyone is unique!

Recently we were returning from a daylong lovely and hectic tour. We were seven of us in the car, hailing from seven different countries. There were lots of laughter, jokes, fun and of course non-stopping consuming food. But it did not take much time to fall into sleep, as we were tried.

When we reached near the Vatican City, someone said that we had almost reached our home. Then someone proposed that we must thank our leader for taking the initiative to organize this trip. We all shouted together and clapped for him. Then another companion said that we must thank so and so for buying food, so and so for taking our photos. Spontaneously we began to thank all. There was one person who was rather quite during the entire trip and has not had any major role to play. Someone from the back seat said we must thank this particular person because he kept on talking with our driver while we were all sleeping. It was in fact a great job. I was a bit surprised to hear that. I have not had noticed this. At the end our thanks were for each one of us and we recognized the importance of everyone.