Tips for Happiness

(Who does not want to lead a happy, peaceful and successful life! It is a common human desire to be happy and successful. But are we happy? Many of us would reply ‘No’. In this column, I would regularly share some tips which would help us to lead a happy life. Let’s begin the journey)

No 2: Be positive

Life story: Jonas had problem literally with everyone he lived with and hardly found anything in life to be grateful. His complaints are endless. After meeting a few times, one day I had suggested him to spend a day just being only with positive thoughts. He was not very content with my proposal but was obliged to give it a try. On the following meeting, I found him slightly different. His attitude of being distressed replaced with certain calmness. He smiled at me and said softly, “It worked. I followed your instructions of being positive. At the beginning it was difficult. But sooner I experienced inner peace. I began to enjoy other’s company. I took interest to talk to others and I found even others were interested about me.” I encouraged him to make it a habit of being positive.

‘Being positive’ is an attitude, an approach to life. It is an art that can be kept on developing. No one is born with it rather it has to be cultivated by following some simple principles. First of all, we need to say good bye to all our negative thoughts or any activity that make us negative. We may have to discontinue our relationship with negative people. We need to appreciate the beautiful things that we possess and experience. We can recall happy memories and achievements of the past. Over all, it comes from our desire to be happy.

It is true that sometimes our demands are not met, dreams are not fulfilled, plans are not executed and our proposals are not accepted. We are misunderstood, wrongly judged and neglected by our near and dear ones. What do we do then? The simple tip is to be positive. By remaining positive we will have strength to face any difficulty.  

So, let’s make a decision to be positive. It will make a huge difference in life...

 

Tips for Happiness

(Who does not want to lead a happy, peaceful and successful life! It is a common human desire to be happy and successful. But are we happy? Many of us would reply ‘No’. In this column, I would regularly share some tips which would help us to lead a happy life. Let’s begin the journey)

No 1: A decision to be happy

Life story: Newton, a middle-aged man greeted me happily. He was well dressed up, wore a smile on his face and was smart in his dealings. After the introductory conversation, he began to narrate his life story. The issues that he shared with me are – he is unemployed, he does not have good relationship with his siblings and is in debt. While he ended up his narrative, I instantly asked him, “how do you hide your suffering? You remained very composed while sharing painful events of your life.”

He looked at me straight and smilingly said, “It is a decision that I made. I wanted to be happy in spite of all my struggles. It was my decision to be happy.”

We ended our conversation with a happy note and recently he informed me that he has managed to resolve many of his unsettled issues.

The proverb says, life is not of a bed of roses. No one can have a ‘problem free’ life. Problems are bound to happen. It can happen in any area of life. We usually become sad, distressed and frustrated over our problems. Difficult situations make our life so miserable that we want to give up. We become pessimistic. We don’t find any meaning in life. So, what do we do?

All we need is to make a decision. A decision to be happy. It is a simple decision which requires a lots of inner convictions. We can just put aside our tendency of resolving all the problems. We can just accept everything as part of our life and choose to be happy. This will make a lot of differences in life. Many of our problem will disappear once we decide to be happy. It is worthwhile to remember that happiness lies with us. No one can give me happiness unless and until I desire to be happy. We are the master of our happiness.

So, let’s make a decision to be happy. It will make a huge difference in life...

My “last” formal formation as a Jesuit!

No 9: Life goes on in the fifth week!

Often we Jesuits jokingly say that we begin the ‘fifth week in life’ after completing the 30-day long retreat.  The 30-day long retreat or the month long Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius is categorically divided into four weeks. Thus, the beginning of normal life (!), after the retreat is often referred as the fifth week. The fifth week comprises the entire life.

Interestingly, many people wanted to know if I have found any difference in my ordinary life after the long retreat which I had made recently. Some even sarcastically commented that I had become more holy after the retreat. Often, I laughed with them! But how is my journey in the fifth week!

The Covid 19 continues

I cannot deny the fact that I have been fretted with the escalating of Covid 19 in South Asia in recent days. The pandemic badly hit the lives of people. I was particularly concerned for the daily labourers, who earn their daily bread on daily basis. Many have lost their jobs and poverty rate is increasing. The media is giving full coverage of the plights of people. In front of this catastrophe, I plea to Jesus as the disciples did when they were caught in storm (Mt 8:23-27).   

The death of Fr Stan SJ in India

The untimely death of Fr Stan is deplorable. I remember getting a short message from a fellow Jesuit, who wrote: they have managed to kill him. Exasperated with the news, I thank the Lord for giving us an example, a role model. He is a martyr and a prophet of our times. He gave voice to the voiceless, stood for the justice and laid down his life for Christ. He invites us not to be a silent spectator, rather sacrificing one’s own life for others.   

The crisis in Afghanistan

The collapsed of the Afghan government was precipitated which made everything topsy-turvy. The images of desperate Afghans, who are risking their lives to flee from the country portrays a glimpse of the ground reality. I don’t know who is to be blamed for the present crisis. I am concerned for the innocent civilians. I am worried for the orphan children, for the widows, for the injured persons, for the refugees... (to be continued)

 

 

My Ten "Take-away" from the Ignatian Day

During Quarantine in a hotel in Colombo (Srilanka), just before entering into the Tertianship programme, I read James Martin’s famous book ‘The Jesuit Guide to (almost) everything’. It was a very fascinating reading as the author, a Jesuit himself shows the ways of applying Ignatian insights and Jesuit spirit (or Jesuitness) in every aspect of life. Once I began Tertianship, I have had ample opportunities to study and reflect on the life and works of St Ignatius (Inigo). On the eve of the feast of Inigo (July 31), which we Jesuit loving term as Ignatian day, I draw ten “Take-away” from the life of this great Saint. They are:

1. Striving to live a meaningful life. Life is not a bed of roses rather it is a chain of challenges from womb to tomb. We make our life meaningful by focussing on our goal, while working hard to face any challenge. Inigo was never satisfied with mediocracy. He assiduously worked hard, faced all challenges bravely and made his life meaningful.  

2. Failures are part of life. Every failure can be treated as a gateway to excel in life. The turning point of Inigo’s life was a ‘failure’ at the battleground. He rose up again and made a complete ‘U-turn’ that led him to be a founder and spiritual guru.

3. Happiness does not depend on material things or excessive possessions. The inner happiness comes from ‘being’- with the Creator, with others and with oneself. Inigo left his family palace, gave up all his richness and chose to live like a beggar.  After his conversion, he did not waste not even a drop of his sweat to make money rather he gave himself totally to ‘mission making’.

4. Optimism is a gateway to inner peace. Inigo was always optimistic and passionate of being positive.

5. Living and leading life happily is an art. No one can bring us happiness unless we decide to live a happy life. Happiness is within us, around us. Inigo was a happy person in all aspects because he chose to be happy.

6. Experiences of God vary from person to person. Inigo’s vision of God is ‘service in participation’. He believes God takes active part in our lives and He wants us as his collaborators. He found God in everything, in everywhere...

7. Decision making is an art - a process of discernment. Inigo was master of discernment. He gave enough time before making any decision and once a decision is made he stood by it.  

8. Friends are hidden treasures in life. Inigo valued human relationship and was very expressive in his relationship with others. He regularly kept in touch with his friends irrespective of their age, sex and professions.

9. Inigo never had any double standard. He was very outspoken and refused to make any compromise with his values and principles.

10. Real leader exercises leadership by example. Inigo believed in action rather than mere words.  

Let Inigo continue to inspire us all!

Happy feast of St Ignatius to all of you (30/07/21, Kandy Tertianship).

A letter to St Ignatius of Loyola

(Just before entering into the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola, I was asked to present the autobiography of St Ignatius during a prayer vigil on the eve of the Spiritual Exercises (hereafter SpEx). I presented it in a letter format that St Ignatius writes to all the retreatants and narrates his own personal experiences. On the last day of the retreat, I began to pen the reply of his letter. This is just a personal experience.)

Dear Father Inigo,

I prefer to call you Inigo. I find more of personal attachment with your family name, Inigo.

I had begun the journey to be with the Lord for 30 days (though it lasted for 32 days), following your instructions with a beautiful prayer vigil. The marathon prayer got over with the Eucharistic celebration at midnight. Thus, I entered into a monastic silence, both interior as well as exterior.

I began with the meditation on “Principle and Foundation” of the SpEx. You led me to experience that God has created everything and if God is experienced as the centre of all, then there is no need to deny anything, not even the world. While recognizing and praising God in everything, I became aware of my brokenness. I am fragile, week...But how beautifully you made me to feel that I am a loved sinner. You invited me to see graces in my brokenness and experience God’s mercy and compassionate through the sacrament of reconciliation. Then I began to contemplate on the incarnation. Jesus is born for me (I prefer to say ‘only for me!’). While reflecting on the earthly life of Jesus Christ, you inspired me to ask for the grace to know Jesus clearly, follow him closely and love him dearly.

To make Jesus more personal, you led me to reflect on the Baptism of Jesus, on his temptations, on his missions...I went on with Jesus, wherever He went. The key meditations like Two Standards helped me to have knowledge of Christ, The Three classes helped me to make my commitment to Christ way and finally The Three degree helped me to have loving commitment to the person of Christ.

After having gone through the life and Mission of Christ, I entered with him to the last days of his earthly life- his last supper, suffering and death on the Cross. Deep within me I felt, Jesus was born for me so did he die for me! But Jesus won over the death and was Risen- a new life begins. I shared the joy of the disciples who were overwhelmed to meet the Risen Lord. Then you led me to contemplate on the finding of God in everything.  

Thus, I came to the end of the journey. I have roughly touched upon the topics of mediations, but this journey was a process where I became close to Jesus and I tried to see the world with the eyes of Jesus. And, of course Father Ignatius, I tried to give you a chance to inspire me. You were very much alive with me.

I know soon I will enter into the real world. I may not have time to reflect and pray hours after hours (Neither you want from me!). But the experiences that I had gathered will continue to inspire me to your path by experiencing Christ in my life and in my mission.

Continue to inspire me, Father Inigo.

(Composed immediately after the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius during Tertianship in Srilanka, 2021)  

My “last” formal formation as a Jesuit!

No 8: God is ‘actively’ present in our life.

Two weeks have just passed since we I began the Tertianship. We have been listening to each other’s’ stories and reflecting on the life of St Ignatius of Loyola.

The more I listen to, the more I reflect on, the more I study, one thought becomes more prominent- God is ‘actively’ present in our life.

A journey begins, when I try to experience ‘active’ God in my life!

My “last” formal formation as a Jesuit!

No 7: My sweet Jesuit home.

Our novice master used to tell us, “Once you are Jesuit, any Jesuit community in the world is your home.” Having lived in different Jesuit communities in different countries, I can truly confirm the statement of my novice master. After spending (the)14 days at the hotel, I came to a Jesuit community. It was really coming to my own home!

A big hug from a Jesuit companion made me feel welcomed. It was a meeting of after twelve years. He showed me the room, a very traditional Jesuit room with very little things. He invited me for a cup of tea. I immediately graved the opportunity. Sipping a cup of tea, we began to share our lives. Specially, we began to enquire about our common friends.

We were all together four Jesuits in the community. What did we do in these three days? We have had long chats, long drives, long walks, we cooked our own food...and, of course, we have had manual works too.

We these good memories, tomorrow (15/04/21) I go to Kandy to begin my Tertianship.