Words without thinking!

Though with a desire to post on my blog I pen these few words but I am not sure either I would be able to post. For the last two weeks I have been visiting different parts of Bangladesh ‘to catch fish’ for the Society of Jesus. At the beginning of my ‘mission’ (we Jesuits like to use this word) I made an attempt to organize my trip. But once I undertook my journey I realized it is quite impossible in Bangladesh to have anything organized and specific. It is altogether a different world. Let me give you just an example.

Today I had to halt my journey due to 48 hours strike called by a political partly. Traveling by public transport on the day of strike could be very danger. Every strike in Bangladesh leads a few human bodies to the graveyard. The havoc it creates is beyond calculation. So I am forced to remain inside four walls.

You might wonder why I should remain inside four walls! You might suggest to visit people, or to watch TV, or to spend (?)time browsing net! It has been raining cats and dogs for the last few days. The non-stop rain has made the muddy road almost ready for paddy cultivation. Then you might suggest what about watching TV! The frequent power-cut (load shedding) is part of daily life. And Internet! We need to have real patient to do something with net! It could easily take ten minutes just to open a mail. It is terribly slow!

My post might look like a negative one! Of course not! I get motivated here. I see hope for the bright future. Oh sorry I forget to tell you something about the place. I am residing in a Jesuit community. ‘Jesuit community’ might be a wrong word as there is only one Jesuit priest residing here. He is the parish priest as well as the director of the school He does not complain about anything. He is relatively young and by now got used to the situation.

I made an excuse that I could not go out due to rain. Then what about those tiny kids who come for class in the same campus where I am now. From the window of my room I see them sitting in the class rooms. This morning I talked with some of them. They do not complain about anything. They want to study. I wonder how many of them would be able to continue their studies. Some of them will have to leave school due to poverty! Their struggle inspires me...

I must stop here. Electricity will go off anytime. Let me make an effort to post it on my blog.

(At Bhobanipur, Rajshahi, Bangladesh)

Along the way…

As soon as I began my new mission in Bangladesh, I was asked (rather assigned) to conduct three days seminar on faith based on ‘LUMEN FIDEI’ to a group of nun who were preparing for the final vows. I had no other option than to say -‘Yes’ I do it. I must admit that one of boring courses I had during theological studies in Rome was on ‘faith, hope and love.’ I took up the challenge and began to prepare myself for the seminar.

In the evening of the second day of my session, I accompanied sisters to a shrine. As we were walking quietly I thought of the feast of St Ignatius which was round the corner. I remembered all the big and grand celebrations I have had for the last few years. But this year I am in a complete new situation. Though I was born here but things have changed radically over the years. Already a few times I said to myself that I need to become a Bangladeshi. Many good and sweet memories were pouring in my mind.

At one point I saw some people were crying in a house. As it was a Muslim family I did not dare to enter and ask what had happened. As I continued to walk, I heard a voice from the other side of the road was saying, “Father, please pray for my daughter who died this morning.” I went close to him and asked what had happened. He said that she was sick for sometimes and they could not provide her any treatment due to lack of money. Then he said something very precious. He said, “I know you are a Christian priest. But our God is the same. We can pray to him either from the Church or from the Mosque or from the Hindu Temple. God is present everywhere.”

I was stunned. This man has just lost his daughter and could easily blame God for the misfortune. But he placed all his trust in God and accepted everything as God’s will.

Perhaps this is what St Ignatius of Loyola wanted all along his life- to accept everything as God’s will and find Him in everything! Does it give any message to you and me on the feast day of St Ignatius?

Time has come!

There was time when I used to say I have six more months, then five more months, then four more months, and then three months…and finally I have only 24 hours to go. Tomorrow by this time I will be flying.

Fortunately my old passport helped me find the exact date of my first departure from the country. It was on June 30’ 2000, when I left my country for the first time. Have I ever thought I would spend the long 13 years before I finally return to the country? In the last 13 years there have been many up and downs in life. There are experiences to be  told, many persons to be  remembered, many mysteries to be unfolded. But today I leave them all. I begin another journey. I response to the call as time has time…

(More to follow…)

The problem of a problem!

A few days ago, I was accompanying some visitors to the rooms of St Ignatius. At the end of the visit, a curious visitor wanted to know where I was from. When I revealed my identity, she immediately told me that she had stopped buying any Bangladesh made cloths. It did not take any time for me to realize the reason behind her noble (?) decision. I looked at her and in a soft voice said, “But in the process of not buying cloths made in Bangladesh you are not helping anyone. You might in turn bring some bad news to some poor people.”

“How could you say that?” she asked rather quickly.

“There are millions of poor people; especially women have little to eat due to these garment factories in Bangladesh. A densely populated country, where natural calamities and political turmoil have become part of the daily life, the only scope to earn the daily bread is these garment factories. Perhaps you can mobilize the pressure on the owner of the factories/buyers to improve safety of the work place and look after the welfare of the workers.”

The visitor looked at me said, “You explained to me well. I never thought in this way.” Then she left.

Like this visitor, there are many of us who see the one side of the problem and try to find an immediate solution. We have a tendency of ‘let it go’ or ‘this is not my cup of tea’ or ‘he/she is capable of thinking for him/herself’ or ‘this is your choice’…the list is endless.

It is rather universal truth that every problem has got two sides. Deep down there is a hidden mystery in every problem. This mystery makes us frightened and we want to keep ourselves away. I often wonder that the world would have been a better place if we all could spend some time to look into the mystery of every problem! How do we begin?

Perhaps we can begin with our own life: problem with my own self, with my neighbours, with my friends, with my colleagues, with my enemies and ask “why” with a positive outlook!

Expecting for you and me!

It was as usual Tuesday evening. I was out for my weekly social service along with another Italian friend. We met Christian near Pantheon. Christian is a middle-aged man, with out any home or family. His drinking habits brought him to the present pathetic situation. The little money he gets from the people, he spends on drinking. We have tried many times to convince him to leave drinking habits, but our efforts seem to be abortive. He keeps on talking; hardly leaves any room for us to talk. 
But today every thing seemed to be topsy-turvey. He was rather quiet. We asked him some questions and he just replied with ‘yes’ or ‘no’. We decided to leave some food for him and leave the spot. On seeing us leaving food for him, he said, “I do not need food from you. You take back.”

We were stunned. We asked him, “why not? Are you not hungry or have you eaten already?”

“I do not need your food. You people did not wish me on my birthday. Last week was my birthday. Previously I had already told you about my birthday. But you people forgot me. In this world, no one loves me. I celebrated my birthday only with my dog.”

We realized that we completely forgot about his birthday. We had already promised him that we would celebrate his birthday. We asked sorry and assured him that the following week we would celebrate his birthday. He was silent. His eyes were filled with tears.

While coming back to my home, I remembered Christian again and again. How painfully he said that no one in this earth loves him except his dog. It would have taken just a few minutes to reach out to him on his birthday. This would have given him a great joy!

There are so many people in this earth who wait for little love and care. There are many who do not want any money or gift. Probably just a little smile or few gentile words will bring lots of joy in their life. Do we see them along the way?

The light of the darkness!

It was a lovely night. I spent the entire night on walking, without any single moment of sleep. Every now and then I paused for a while, looking at the sky. The beacon of the dark night was clear- an invitation to experience the light of the day. I walked from one corner to another of Rome city, visiting churches and Holy places.

Have I visited churches to meet God? My answer is YES and NO.  It was more to meet with myself. The recent tragedies in my country made me sad, angry and frustrated. Many of the mysteries of life made me to ask, ‘why?’ Then certain ‘topsy-turvy’ created many questions.

But these ten hours of walk brought me to a new realization. It brought me to my nakedness. It whispered to me about a new world- a new world which  Henri J. M. Nouwen would say, “ It is this new world that fills our dreams, guides our actions, and makes us go on, at great risk, with the increasing conviction that one day we will finally be free- free to love” (cfr. The wounded Healer, 26). 

Ma (mother), I love you!

(a recent photo with my mother)

This morning after the breakfast I went to wish ‘happy Mother’s day’ to two of our co-workers, both women. They had forgotten that today was the mother’s day. I wished them, exchanged a few words and then returned to my room. As I was climbing up to my room, for a moment I remembered my mother. Like all other mothers, she is also very special to me. I felt she was walking with me, talking to me holding my hand…

When I was growing, the financial situation of my family was not very good. My mother had to be very cautious about spending money. With the limited salary of my father, she had to manage the entire family- our food, dress, medicine, education... Everyday she would serve food for all of us. She would eat only when we were all fed well. Often I would notice that she would take puffed-rice (a typical home made food, people would eat whenever one cannot effort to have rice) with rice. Many a times I had asked her, why she preferred to take puffed rice, in seated of taking rice? She would reply that puffed-rice increase the taste of the meal. It was much later one day I discovered that whenever there was less rice she would take puffed-rice. She would always feed us well and then she would eat very less…

When I was in the novitiate, my novice director came to visit my family. The first question, my mother asked him was: “does Ripon listen to you?” My novice director was surprised. He came and narrated to all of us only Ripon’s mother asked, “Does Ripon listen to you”, while other asked, “How is my son? How is his health?”

Some times we do not notice sacrifices our mothers make. Often they are unnoticed. Perhaps ‘mother’s day’ is a good occasion to be aware of their sacrifices and tell to them, “Ma, we love you!”

I too have a heart!

I knew him from my association with the community of San’Egido in Rome. Once a week I spend sometime with this community to reach out to most needy and poor people in Rome, who stay on the streets. We talk to them and distribute necessary material things. By now I became friendly with some of them and talk to them whenever I meet them. Georgo (named changed) is one of them.  Whenever I meet him, he narrates to me some interesting stories of his profession. He goes around Rome, often in the crowded public bus and steals things from others.

The other day I had to go to Vatican. As soon as got into the bus I saw Georgo. We saw each other and exchanged a smile. I knew he was on his mission and tried to follow his movements. But it was quite obvious that my presence was a hindrance for him. He remained at one corner of the bus and in fact was looking at me again and again. When I got down from the bus, he too followed me. I wished him ‘good luck’ for his work and asked him not to steal from the poor and old people. To my great surprise he told me, “I never steal anything from Asian or African people. They are poor people come here to earn some money. And even if I get any documents or certificates I send them to the owners. I too have a heart.”

The last sentence of Georgo touched me. I looked at face. There was sadness on his face. Perhaps for the first time, I saw something very special on his face. A face that speaks his innocence! A face that shows that he is also son of God! I discovered a new Georgo. I gave a smile and left him.

In life we often judge people based on their profession, external out-look, social statues etc. But do we really see anyone before judging. Do we see the hidden heart- a heart full of love!

When I really paused for a while and said, "Oh Life!"

For the last three days I spent hours after hours reading the newspaper of my country. I was not reading the death news, rather I carefully read news of the person, who have almost returned from the door death. I salute them for their courage and inner strength for survival and who have took the risk of their lives and helped others. One such story was published in the Daily Star, a popular English daily newspaper of Bangladesh. This is the life story of Rikta! She has shown tremendous courage. I cannot do anything for Rikta. I may not meet her in my life time. But she has taken a place in my heart. My thoughts are with her. I reproduce the story of Rikta in my blog. This is the first time I reproduce a piece from another source. It is a way of showing my respect and salute to Rikta.  The struggle of Rikta will always remain with me, specially at a time, when I want to give up, when I do not see any meaning of life...There are many more Rikta, who wait for you and me!

                                                                  (The photo of Rikta)
Time was running out for Rikta. She was hungry and thirsty and drained. Two days had passed since she was trapped inside Rana Plaza. Nobody came.
So when somebody came yesterday morning, about 45 hours after the collapse, she first thought: “Am I still alive?”
But to remain alive she would have to suffer more: It was a group of civil rescuers who found her around 5:30am yesterday under the rubble on the third floor of the nine-storey building. Her right hand was trapped under a sewing machine.
The rescuers tried all means they could think of to pull her out. All attempts failed. So they had to improvise.
They brought a hand saw, tied both her legs and hands, held her tightly so that she could not move and then cut off her hand from above the elbow.
“I somehow managed to bear the pain when they were cutting my flesh. But when it reached my bone … I don’t know how to describe the pain,” she told The Daily Star at Enam Medical College Hospital in Savar, and then fainted.
A sewing operator, the 25-year-old was working on the third floor when the building crumbled like a pack of cards on Wednesday morning.
“It was around 8:20am. I just started sewing. Power went off and the building collapsed in no time. My right hand was trapped.”
Her battle to hold on to life began. With the entire building almost sandwiched and thick dust all around, she was suffocating. “But it was all right in the first few hours.”
But as the day wore on, she thought her heart would stop for want of oxygen. There was no air.
With time she grew hungrier and thirstier still. “I could not take it any more. So at one stage I drank my urine,” she said.
The mother of a nine-year-old son thanked the rescuers for bringing her back to her son and husband, a car driver.
According to her, it was their immediate bosses who forced them to work in the risky building. She alleged she had been even forced to work till late night every day without any weekly holiday over the past one month.
In the garment factory where she worked, she used to earn Tk 4,700 a month. But with one of her hands now gone, how she would support her family is a thought she cannot bear to think.

Whom do we belong!

I went for the Easter Vigil Mass rather late this year. Due to many unavoidable reasons, I have had a heavy day. The church was full by the time I entered into the Church. I was tired and was desperately looking for a chair. After some abortive attempts of searching for a chair, I decided to stand near the main door of the church.

The beginning part of the liturgy was rather sober. I tried to concentrate on the mystery that was being celebrated. But I was often distracted. As the readings were being read, I looked at the huge Crucifix which was placed at one corner of the Church. Looking at the Crucifix I thought of Jesus. Being a person with Divine and human nature, Jesus is hanged on the Cross alone. He could have easily avoided all his sufferings.  His twelve disciples, with whom he shared his life, left him when he was arrested. He did not complain. He accepted the will of his Father. He detached everything of this world and finally he was attached to his Father, God. What a beautiful message of detachment he showed on the Cross!

In life we sometimes tend to attach to something or someone. But can we really belong to someone or something. I do agree that we can be attached to something or someone for sometimes. All our earthly attachment will pass. Our loving parents, beloved friends, and expensive material things will not have everlasting place in our lives. We will have to be alone. We will have to detach everything. This will lead us to a unique attachment- that is our attachment to God. Jesus Christ is the perfect example of this detachment. His earthly detachment led him to an everlasting attachment to God.

Do we want to have this attachment- an attachment of God? Then let us detach ourselves from this world! 

The beauty of 'being' together-2

(We often concentrate on ‘doing’ and neglect ‘being’. In this new column I would like to ponder over some of experiences of being together. These are based on my personal experiences of different Jesuit communities, where I lived and worked!)

There are certain things I cannot forget. I can still narrate conversations, which I have had with certain people years ago, or my first meeting with someone, or particular pages of some books or a scene of a film. I consider this particular memory as my way of showing love to someone or something. Let me share a simple but significant gesture, which I had experienced in my early days of Jesuit formation.

This must have been in December, 2000. I was in Calcutta, doing Jesuit novitiate. After the Christmas, the province assembly of the Calcutta Jesuits took place in the novitiate campus. We, novices had to vacant our rooms in order to make place available for the Jesuits who would come for the gathering. We, instead, went to the villages to have pastoral experience.

When I returned to the novitiate, I found on my table a short place of folded paper with a pen. I opened the paper, which read: “this is a small gift of love for the novice who lives in this room, from Fr …..” That was a big pleasant surprise for me. I had heard the name of that particular Jesuit, but never met him in person. I was touched by this simple gesture. Those days of my ‘innocence’ it was a big thing for me. Many years I kept that particular pen with me as a remembrance.

That was a lesson for me that with a simple gesture we can win the heart of others. Perhaps often we do not notice, ‘the simple thing’ of life. Can we give a try to notice the next ‘simple thing of life’?

If there were no Good Friday!

(Flipping over the pages of my old diary, I found a garland of few words which I penned during one of my spiritual exercises. Years gone by, but thoughts still remain the same!)

Where would have been the Risen Christ?
Where would have been the Christianity?
Where would have been my existence?
If there were no Good Friday!

Good Friday was the beginning of a new beginning
Good Friday was the creating of a new history
Good Friday was making a Risen Christ
But then, if there were no Good Friday!

Good Friday is a call to rise with Him
Good Friday is a call to embrace Him
Good Friday is a call to touch Him
Good Friday is a call to fall in love with Him
But then, if there were no Good Friday!

Good Friday comes to our lives, so that we can experience the Easter Sunday!

That was enough!

13/03/2013 at 19:00!

We, eight of us along with our two formators, were waiting for a bus at the bus station. It was drizzling and rather cool breeze was blowing. All of us sudden we saw our Spiritual Father, aged 70, was approaching to us almost running. “There is white smoke” he said from rather distance, “we have a Pope.”

That was enough to changed our planned programme. We immediately got into a bus which would take us to St Peter’s Square. But bus was moving very slow, as there was heavy traffic. “Let’s go walking” said someone. ''It might take a few hours to reach Vatican with the bus and I am getting down from the bus'' said one of my formators and got down from the bus.

That was enough for all of us to get down from the bus and began to walk. We were joined by many who were almost running to reach to Vatican. It was incredible. I have never seen people running like that in Rome. The church bells began to ring.

That was enough to announce the good news. By the time we reached at the St Peter’s Square, the Square was almost filled with people. We pushed though people and went ahead as much as we could. All the eyes were fixed to the balcony, from where the new Pope would address. A great excitement of who has been elected as the new Pope. There were a few names going around. Almost an hour later, appeared a Cardinal and said, we have the new Pope and he is…! All were silent. “He is a Jesuit from Argentina” exclaimed one of my companions.

That was enough  for me to remain a standstill for a while. ‘A Jesuit pope!’ ‘How it is possible!’ ‘What a strange thing to have a Jesuit pope.’ ‘What would happen now?’… And many more comments. Then after a few minutes appeared a man, white dressed. He began to speak the language of ordinary people. He asked people to pray for him.

That was enough for the world that we a have a completly different man to guide the Church. The rest is history. He created a history. He won the hearts of all. People began to say- ‘He is different’, ‘He is so humble’, and ‘He is so simple.’

That was enough for me to appreciate my vocation  as a Jesuit. He appeared to me a man with great simplicity. He gave a message of great simplicity. His gestures invited to go deep into my vocation. It was also a 'turning point' for me as I was getting ready for diaconate ordination. I was touched...

Frankly speaking I really do not agree when people say that the world is very complicated. The world is simple. But there are some people who make it complicated. Perhaps the simple gestures of the new Pope invite us to look into our lives. Are we simple? Or are we complicating the simple thing? Was that not enough?

Faith: Why?

I write this post with a heavy heart! I am sad! I am angry! I asked again and again ‘why’?

For the last few days I have browsed newspapers of my country again and again. Each time I found rather sad stories. There was also fear of where would my country go from here? ‘Again’ in the name of the God a certain section of the majority was attacking the minorities. They have not only attacked their houses but also the places of worship. I asked God, “Where are you? Why are you not helping innocent people?

God remained silent. He did not answer me. But He helped me to realize that He is amidst the suffering people. He is suffering with them. Perhaps He is asking us all, “Why?”

Faith, hope and love!

I can loudly say, though some may not agree with me (!) that we almost spent our first week of the second semester reflecting on three words: faith, hope and love. Different professors ‘broke’ these three words from the different point of views. Though my professors developed these words based on Christian theology, scripture, ethics, here I made an attempt to look at them from a ‘secular’ point of view (theology in daily life!).

Hope: turning dark in to light!

I did not have any choice than to observe the entire episode. Each time I called my father, I would listen to rather sad stories from him. He was planning to visit me in Rome, but obtaining visa for Italy seems to be impossible. He has done all that he could do. He was almost giving up hope. In spite of my anxiety, I remained rather calm and cool. Somewhere deep within me I had a hope that everything would come along the way in due time.

Last Monday I spoke with my father to know the latest development and the result was as usual. While talking to my father, I saw a priest friend of mine was on line. Though for a long time we did not have any contact, I asked him if we could skyp for a while. He readily accepted and showed great eagerness. We spoke for a while, and then I said, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course” he said immediately. “I can do anything for you.”

I knew when he said he can do anything for me, he really meant it. Then I narrated to him the entire episode. Once I finished, he said, “Ripon this is my work. I will make sure that everything is done. You do not need to be worried. You get ready to receive your parents at the airport.”

He has done what he could do. He spoke to my father and gave the instruction of what to do. The next day when I spoke with my father, he sounded to me very happy. He began to dream to visit me. Though he is yet to get visa, but he has got a hope. My priest friend gave him that great hope.

In our modern world we often lose our hope. In certain context our life is controlled by the machine. We want everything instant. If something goes wrong, we give up.

Back to the class in my own way: Jesus brought hope to many. He gave hope to the woman, who was sick, or to the father whose daughter had a sudden death or to the sisters who lost their brother. Many found hope and new life in his words. Often I think as religious, we are often called to bring hope. There are lots of people around us, who need just a little hope. Some might need a little encouragement or a little gentle touch. Are we ready?

Faith, hope and love!

I can loudly say, though some may not agree with me (!) that we almost spent our first week of the second semester reflecting on three words: faith, hope and love. Different professors ‘broke’ these three words from the different point of views. Though my professors developed these words based on Christian theology, scripture, ethics, here I made an attempt to look at them from a ‘secular’ point of view (theology in daily life!).

Love: come back to me!

Unexpectedly I noticed a few sentences written in Bangla on the facebook, posted by a person whom I knew quite knew. I was also aware of the inner struggle he was going through. His words were so powerful that I called him immediately and spoke for sometimes. At the end I asked him if I could translate his words into English and post them in my blog. He gave me permission. Here you go…

“There are two very powerful realities: Time passes and the people changes. Now we do not require any reason to change. We can change and do change ourselves without any reason. Sometimes, people very close to you become unknown to you. But in this drama of changes, some people remain the same. They remain as they are. Perhaps they are most lonely person in this world! I am one of them. I tried to change myself, but I could not. Is it really necessary to change? You changed yourself. You left me. Come back to me, my love. You are my life, my love. I need you only, because you are my love.”

These words reflect of a true love. From my personal encounter with that person I can say his love was really genuine and self-giving. Unfortunately this true love has had an untimely death. One person hold on to love and the other left the love. ‘The love’ which could have been the source of a beautiful life has turned in to reason to say ‘NO’ to life.

Back to my classroom: Jesus loved us so much that he laid down his life. He wanted us all to live in his love. What does it mean to live in the love of Jesus? Should I answer this question? No! I leave it to be discovered…and I continue to listen to my professors!!!

(Next post on ‘hope’…)

The beauty of ‘being’ together!

(We often concentrate on ‘doing’ and neglect ‘being’. In this new column I would like to ponder over some of experiences of being together. These are based on my personal experiences of different Jesuit communities, where I lived and worked!)

It was last week, just before my anthropology exam. I had to burn my midnight oil to prepare for the exam. Early morning when I opened my notes, everything seemed to new to me. I was really nervous and frightened! I thought of getting out of my room and get some fresh air.

I opened the door and found a little piece of paper hanging outside my door. I took it and found it was written in Italian:

Things necessary for exams!

1. Courage- I wish for you
2. Prayer- we have prayed for you
3. Confidence- you have it
4. Preparation- you have done it already

Best wishes…

I read it once,twice,thrice…! So powerful! So meaningful! It was written by a Jesuit companion. I knew him quite well. Occasionally we spend time and share certain things. But I could never imagine that he could touch me in such a personal way! Perhaps this is the beauty of being together.

Perhpas one day!

The note of Eschatology is opened on my table. The words like- death, heaven, hell, resurrection- are repeated again and again.
Entered my Jesuit companion in my room, looking at the notes said, “So we die one day!”
“Yes! It’s the reality. No one can avoid it” I said.
“Oh life! So mysterious” he said philosophically.
“There are certain things in life we cannot do” I said.
“Of course we can do, may be in different ways” he replied.
“We cannot go back to our childhood” I said in a soft voice.
“Sure! But we can do certain things that children do” he replied smilingly.
“But then people will tell to me that I am a child. My behaviors are childish” I said, thinking that I have said logically.
“But you can be child-like minded” he replied.
“How?” I asked.
“Forget about all these complicated of life. Learn to laugh at your mistakes. Go and talk with a stranger. Ask question. Play with everyone. Be happy. Do not judge anyone. Live in present” he said and looked at me, “would you like to try!”
Should we allow a child to grow within us? Did not Jesus invite us to be like a child?

(my) Love story!

(This is incredible! Something really strange! How a celebrant could write about his love story, which took place after making solemn promise of chastity? Here I take pen to tell one of my love stories! I did not fall in love instead I rose in love…!)

A sudden miss called from her surprised me. I knew there was something particular. I called her back. “Oh Ripon, I am dying to tell you. My parents have arranged a marriage for me. The boy is good and I am happy about it!” she said without any breath once I said “hello.”
“Congratulation! I am so happy for you.”
“I know you cannot come for my marriage but on Feb 6, on the day of my marriage you must call me and send a gift for me.”
“I will try.”
“What do you mean by you will try. You must. You have to. You are my friend and I can demand certain things from you. This is the right of my friendship.”
Then she kept on speaking…
When I put back my phone, I was in deep thought of the nostalgia. I sank in the memory lane. It was in the year of 2003. After three years of initial Jesuit formation, I was asked to do my graduation studies in a public college rather than going to a Jesuit run college. In the college I was like any other ordinary boy, and almost nobody knew that I was preparing to become a Catholic Priest.
On the first day, when I entered in to the class-room, I was a bit surprised to see that there were roughly forty girls and only three boys. I have never before studied in a co-educational institution. I was puzzled of where to sit. At this point I saw a girl from the last row was asking me come next to her. I went and sat next to her.
During the first hour, I introduced myself as Bangladeshi, a foreigner and lone. During the second hour the Principal came and spoke to us in English. As he did not know Bengoli, he asked someone to translate in to Bengoli of what he said. I was the only one who could speak English. Thus from the first day itself I was the centre of attraction!
Within a few weeks we formed a group. We were five in the group- two boys and three girls. Soon I discovered among the three girls, a particular girl was taking interest on me. Outside class she would try to be close to me. As I was aware of my identity of a celebrant and did not want to 'fall in love' with a girl, one day I told her that I was preparing to be a Catholic priest. I had to explain to her what it meant to be a Catholic priest, as she was a Hindu. I thought, after hearing the aim of my life, she would keep certain distance. But to my surprise, I found she was becoming more close to me.
Then time came for vacation. The college was closed for almost for a month. On the reopening day, she said that she had brought a gift for me. During the break we went to the college canteen. She handed over to me a Crucifixion. Then looking at the Crucifixion, she said, “Ripon, I want to see you as a holy priest like Him.”
That was enough for me. That gave me a lot of freedom to grow. There grew a mutual trust and faith. We have grown in a loving friendship. She would often say that she loves me like a friend. We were in the college for three years. Many memories! Many incidents!
Just before leaving Calcutta for Dublin, we five of us got together for a ‘farewell party’. It was somewhere near Victoria Park in Calcutta. We all sat together, recalling our past days- specially days of exams. Laughter, jokes, eating spicy food…! When it was getting dark, we knew that the girls needed to be returned home. At the end we were rather silent for sometimes. In silence, we felt the presence of each other. There were no words but just our being together. At the time of departure, she handed over to me an envelope. She asked me to open it when I get back home. When I opened the envelope, I found in a small paper she wrote,

“Remember me when you are sad, when you are alone, when no one is around you, when things do not go well with you. I will be there with you.”

Then we parted…it is almost four years that we have not seen each other. We all have taken different roads. After so many days, I was happy to know about her marriage.

Yes, in life we cross across many people. But only certain people remain in our hearts. We may not meet them anymore. But their presence is always with us. We grow in a loving relationship. We create a love story. In this love story we do not need to be lovers.

It is true that we do not have any problem to find people to share our joy, happiness, success, dreams... But to find someone to tell about failure, stupid mistake, shortcoming is not easy. But there are people…perhaps sometimes we do not notice them…

(my) 'Mission' (?) at night!

As part of my ‘reaching out to others’ every Tuesday evening I go out with the community of San Egido. We go around the busy places of Rome, looking for the homeless people. We give them snacks, hot milk/tea and cloths. We also spend a good deal of time talking to them. On January 8, 2013 was my first day of this year. I spent roughly two hours. What did I see! What did I experience! What did I feel! Let’s have a quick ‘flash back’!

At 8:45pm

We gathered in front of the Church of the St Mark. We divided us into different groups. I was with Fredrico, an Italian. I had been with Fredrico even before. He was driving the car and asked me to carefully look for person whom might need our help. Something beautiful to think that we seek for others to offer our help! Often in life, we approach others to seek help!

At 9:10 pm

We were in front of the Church of St Augustine. There were three persons. I knew two of them already. Let me tell about the third person, whom I met for the first time. As soon as he heard that I was from Bangladesh, he began to tell all the stories of Bangladesh. He was rather up-to-date about the current situation of my country. I asked him from where he got all the information. “Oh there are so many Bangladeshi on the street. I talk to them, ask them and get to know” he replied quickly. “You are great” I said. “We need to talk to people. Talk whatever you like and feel. Do not wait for any opportunity, occasion or reason to talk. There are many people who want to share their stories” he smiled and said. I was stunned. I stay in a community where we have people from almost 20 countries. But I hardly know about their countries or I would imagine any of my community members would know anything about my country too!

At 9:35pm

She has no one in this world. At this rather advanced stage of her life she sits quietly, gazing at the faces of people. We offered her a jacket as it was very cold. She said that she had enough cloths instead she asked us to take it to another person who would be needed it. But she accepted two oranges from us. She said, “These things you brought for me out of love. I accept your love. We should never deny love. Love others and be loved.”

At 9:50pm

We were in front of the Church of St Mary Minerva. We found Kashir there. Kashir is an Indian, belonging to Sikh religion. He hardly speaks any Italian. He has lost all his documents. Whatever money he gets from people, he spends them on eating and drinking. With my broken Hindi I managed to talk with him. At the end, I asked him to pray for us. He requested us to wait for a while. And he began to pray. The way he prayed showed me a great lesson. He was pleading God again and again for us.

At 10:10pm

We were in front of the Pantheon. There were two people. We met them before and we know they were friends. But today we found them in two different places. Both of them have taken place on the both sides of the main door of the Pantheon. When we were talking to one person the other was getting angry. He was calling us to go to him. When we went to him, first thing he asked if his enemy (was friend before) had told us anything against him. Oh what a life…friend becomes enemy and enemy becomes friend…the mystery of life never ending!

At 10:45pm

Another elderly man was sitting close to Pantheon. We met him before too. He always wears a smiling face and has word of appreciations for us. He always says, "be happy and be positive. In life, you never get answers of certain questions. Do not spend too much time thinking of them."We had quick chat with him and left some food.

At 10:55pm

I returned to my community. I went to the refectory to get some food for me. While eating alone, I reflected all the wonderful people I met over the two hours…they have, in many ways, unfolded the mystery of life to me.

Welcome 2013!

On January 7, 2013, the first day class of the University. The bell has gone and the professor has entered in the class. I opened my note book and wrote on the top of the page the date- 7/01/12. My classmate sitting next to me kicked my leg and said in a soft voice, it is 2013. I looked at my note book and realized my mistake. I erased it and rewrote the correct date.

Yet another year has begun. I must admit that I have embraced the New Year in a right place, with a right person, and in a right situation. When I wished my friend ‘happy New Year’ at midnight I was reminded of the ‘changes’ of this New Year would take place in my life. There is going to be a new beginning. A sudden sense of uncertainty engulfed me. In the midst of the artificial lights, I looked at the sky to place my naked self. In fact I often I look at the sky, when things are uncertain and do not go well with me. I find there is always place for me. I have fear to sink deep within myself. But wide sky calls me to sink, to fly, to dream…! The wide sky invites me to have a big heart and a simple life.

Life is a mystery! We are all called to take part in this mystery. Perhaps this year I will more actively participate in this mystery of life…