Faith: If I dare to say! (Part - I)

(Times and again, I was asked to share about my faith experiences. Frankly speaking, it is not easy for me to share about my faith experiences. I often hesitate to share, thinking my experiences might sound silly and stupid to others. But there are certain experiences, persons and moments that gave me ‘DEEP’ experiences along the way. While thinking about ‘the year of Faith’, I tried to articulate these experiences here. Perhaps these are too stupid, too silly, too childish…but they are priceless to me! They keep me going…)

Returning from the door of death!

That must have been in 1994/95. I must have been 13/14 years old. That was the time when I knocked at the door of death. I was almost gone. I could even say, if I were lucky, I must have found myself in a cemetery. But most likely, I was supposed to be eaten by fishes or other animals in the river. ‘Ripon’ of today with different identities like: human being, Jesuit, brother, son, friend, companion, enemy, student…would not be sitting at his desk and typing this post. He would not have even touched a computer in his life time. There would have remained hardly anyone who would remember him till today. But things took a dramatic turn. I am almost tempted to say, God had different plan!Thus ‘Ripon’ is still alive and able to share his experiences…

The unnoticed beauty of life!

This Saturday afternoon would have been like another Saturday afternoon! I would have taken a long rest, then do some personal works, go for a walk or something which might give me some relaxation. In fact I thought of going to a place to spend some quiet time. But things have changed when a 74 years old community member proposed to me to go for a walk with him. I was rather surprised with the proposal. I grabbed the opportunity and went with him.

We walked almost for three hours. We have talked on different aspects of our lives. He patiently listened to me. At one point of our conversation, I asked him what was source of his happiness. He laughed and said, “Be simple and notice the unnoticed beauty of life.”

I asked him what he meant by ‘unnoticed beauty of life.’ “Very simple” his quick response. “Sorrow, hardship and darkness are always replaced by happiness, success and light in our life journey. But often we do not notice them. This is the unnoticed beauty of life.”

How true these simple words are!

Deep calls for deep!!!

‘Why did you say that? Why did you do that? Why did you behave that way? This is not right?’ …and many more! The list is endless! Time and again I have to face such type of questions. I must confess that I have begun to listen to such questions once I arrived in Europe, specially in Rome. Initially I used to be sad to hear. But once I realized that these questions arise out of cultural differences, I began to enjoy. In fact each time I face such question, I sink into deep thoughts. I look at the sky. I prefer to look at the sky at night. The dark silence of the sky gives me deep meaning. I see my deep self. I see my inner world. The nakedness of my life presents to me another life. Then I sink again into deep. In darkness, in silence…I find the ‘Deep.’ Theologian Michal Paul Gallagher, in his book, Dove e’ il tuo Dio, rightly says, God is found even in the darkness…I really do not know either I find God or not. But I am sure I meet something/someone DEEP.

During this summer I have had enormous encounters with the young people. These meetings opened my eyes to the reality that there is a great fear for DEEP. Our life has changed so much that we are afraid of Deep. We are happy with artificial, superficial and instant. This could be our relationship with each other as well as with God. Even we are afraid to go deep into ourselves. But in reality, in DEEP we find real meaning- joy and peace. And deep calls for deep…

Invisible among the visibles!!!

How wonderful it is to meet a person and engage into a very authentic conversation! It adds more excitement if one happens to meet someone after a long time! Recently, I had such an opportunity. I got a chance to meet a person after ten years. In fact, I was a bit surprise the way she greeted me. The way she held my hands, as per the tradition of my culture, spoke a lot to me. She is a senior nun, having much experienced than me. During our conversation, I could find out that she was quite up-to-date about me, though we never exchanged any forms of communication. Just to make fun at one point I told her, “I never knew somebody in this world loves me so much. I thought I am alone and forgotten person!”

I could not finish my sentence. Immediately the whole milieu turned up-side-down. She took my words literally and was very angry with me.

“God will be angry with you” she said angrily. “You are loved and there are many people to think and pray for you. We may not see or realize the love of others as we do not see God’s love sometimes. But God loves us so do others!” To calm her down, I had to admit that I just made a joke and wanted to make her angry. Then we had lovely conversation and she left.

She got into the bus and the bus began to move. I headed back home. But the thought lingered with me for sometimes. Yes God loves me…perhaps sometimes I notice it. Or may be sometimes I want to ‘rationalize’ too much that I do not find God. Perhaps too invisible! Too dark! Too complicated!... Thus Tagore rightly says, “have you heard his silent steps, he comes, comes every comes…!”