31 Days!

31 days and 31 July…


For the last 31 days I am in Spain and on 31 July I leave Spain. 31 July is the feast day of St Ignatius of Loyola. The Catholic Church, particularly the Jesuits remember this dreamer on this day.

Among the many adjectives used for St Ignatius, I like most the dreamer. Each time I visit a place related to St Ignatius, I ask myself, “What inspired him to come here?”

There may be many reasons, but I am convinced that he had a dream. A dream for AMDG! He kept up his dream till the end of his life. Perhaps 31 July reminds us of our dream!!!

31 Days!

If only we could!


That must have been sometimes two years ago. I showed the church of Jesus and the Rooms of St Ignatius to three visitors. They were from Bangladesh but presently staying in Europe. Once we came out of the Church and about to say goodbye to each other, one of them expressed his desire to say something. I asked him to say without any hesitation. “We are in Europe and we are very fortunate to see and walk the paths of many saints who have set before us good exams.” He said very slowly but clearly. “If only we could follow their examples in our lives, we could make our world a better world.” He said goodbye to each other but his words lingered with me for quite sometimes.

For the last few days I have been visiting many holy places related to the saints. Yesterday I visited Avila- the places of St Teresa and St John, the Cross. As I was visiting all these holy places, I asked a simple question to myself, if only I could follow the some of the good examples of these holy people….

31 Days!

Making myself naked before God!

This time of the year, honestly speaking, every year I tend to become more reflective on my Jesuit life. This pious practice I began in the novitiate. Just before the feast of St Ignatius we would have nine days of special prayer or novena. Our novice director would ask us to reflect on the life of St Iganatius and ask for the blessing for our life. During my two years of novitiate I did it according to the instruction of my novice director.

Years have gone by! I do not have the same opportunity of any structural prayer or novena. But every year on July 22, I strongly feel that I need to spend quiet time. This year also the same! This time is more special. Presently I happen to be in the land of St Ignatius. I will have the opportunity to celebrate his feast in a place, very close to his birthplace. Last weekend I visited his birthplace Loyola. To my great surprise, I realized that for the last three years I have been regularly visiting Loyola and other Ignatian sites. What surprised me that after each visit, I would never thought that I would come back again. But I have been fortunate enough to come back again and again. Every time I come back with different people both- laity and Jesuits. Each visit leaves some impact on me.

Just a few days ago, I have completed 12 years as Jesuit. In 2000, I left a remote village of Bangladesh and now I am living in Rome, the very house where St Ignatius spent 12 years of his life. A long way…a long story! I remember sitting in the room of St Ignatius (in Rome), late in the evening I asked myself how was my last 12 years!

I joined the Jesuit with a view of making myself a holy and pious priest. But soon I discovered the impressions I had about the religious life are far more distant from the reality. I did begin to question. I did have many doubts. But I was fortunate to have some very good formators who have helped me to understand the meaning of religious life. They helped me to see things in different perspective.

Then I have encountered my own shortcomings. I have fallen again and again. I realized that I am a human being. It is normal for me to fall but I have to rise. The Lord, whom I was placing only in the Church, falls with me. He also helps me rise. Many of my external practices vanished day by day. The form of my prayer has changed. The rituals, formalities, and external devotion, which I had for Divine God, have been replaced by my personal relationship with a God who lives among us. I have begun a process of making myself naked. And these years St Ignatius has been the source of inspiration for me!

31 days!

July 8: Pescador de hombres

Yesterday I had an opportunity to attend the priestly ordination of a Jesuit. This was not the first priestly ordination I have ever attended. I have had attended many ordinations, even being involved directly as the master of ceremony. But this ordination was very particular. Right from beginning of the ceremony, I was reminded of course on the sacraments, which I have just finished. I remembered different important aspects like the theological expiations, the church teachings and the Biblical references of the sacrament of the ordine. When the Bishop was saying the ordination prayer, my companion who was sitting beside me whispered to me saying, “Ripon your time is coming soon!” I knew he was refereeing to my priestly ordination! I looked at him and we exchanged a witty smile.

31 days!

July 2: Todo por Jesús (Everything for Jesus)


I have come to Salamanca for the Spanish language course. We are 17 participants from Europe, America, Africa and Asia. I did not find any familiar face. It was really great to meet different people- hailing from different culture. Everyone has unique dream. We had formal and informal meetings. We shared our dreams of taking up Spanish language. I felt quite at ease with the group. Perhaps that is one of the great things of being Jesuit- we are all friends in the Lord. All the Jesuit communities are like our own home and we are well accepted wherever you go.

I paid a quick visit to the Jesuit community. It is relatively a big community. It is a centre of Jesuit formation as well as infirmary. It is a place where Jesuits prepare themselves for the mission and also return to very place at the end of the mission. While we were visiting the senior Jesuits at the infirmary, our guide was pointing to us some of the great works these Jesuits have done in the life time.

At end of the day when I returned to my room to sleep I noticed a photo of St Ignatius, hanging on the wall. Just below the photo it was written in Spanish, ‘todo por Jesús’ means everything for Jesus. How true it is in the life of many Jesuits- past and present!!!

30 days!

July 1: I have come a long way!

I left Rome with a bit of nervousness and anxieties. Though I travelled alone many times before but this time I was feeling a bit lonely. I was sad to think that almost three months I would be away from my community and I would have hardly opportunity to meet my companions. I wish I could have been with friends, especially with whom I like to talk and share my life. But sadly I was all alone. I must admit that the night before leaving Rome I could not sleep. In the morning I just took a caffe and left my community.

I took a bus from Termini to arrive at the airport. I got into a deep sleep as soon as bus began to move. At one point I noticed that a boy came and sat next to me. I was so tired that I did not feel like engaging any conversation with him. I continued to sleep. I got up when I heard a voice telling me, “We have arrived.” I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful young girl asking me to get up. I thanked her. The boy who sat next to me left me without telling me anything. But that girl, who must have noticed that I was in deep sleep, took initiative and reached out to me. Perhaps girls are more generous than boys!

I did not have any difficulty to get into my flight. I was so tired that during the entire journey slept. I was very hungry when I arrived in Madrid. I did not want to spend time on eating as I had to change tree trains to reach to my destination Salamanca. I had met a few generous people, who helped me whenever I needed any help. I reached in Salamanca around 4:30 pm. As soon as I got into my room I got a phone call from my aunt. When I explained to her about my journey, she said, “You have come a long way! Jesuits have trained to you face any situation.” I knew she was referring to my days at home. At home I was very quiet and shy person. Yes, over the years things have changed. I have indeed come a long way!!!