Little happiness for her!

That news brought much joy to me. The moment I heard the news, her innocent face came into my mind. For a while, I lost in the memory...

Anondi is her name. The English translation of her name would be ‘happiness or joy.’ But contrary, till today this is what she has missed more. Perhaps this very word was not written in her life dictionary. I know her from the day she came into this world. When she was born I must have been 12 or 13 years old. She was born in a very poor family. All the more, her father was an alcoholic. Whatever he was earning, he would spend on drinking. There was constant quarrel between her parents. Her father would beat her mother often. Her arrival in this world was not well received. First of all she is a girl and secondly the coloure of her skin.

Her parents got two more children. Both were boys.  As her mother would work in houses of rich people, Anondi had to look after them. She would have begun to cook for the entire family when she was just nine or ten years old. In spite of all the problems, her mother wanted to give her children education. She got all of them enrolled in the school. But Anondi did not do well in school as she had to do a lot of works at home. She discontinued.

Years went by. The sad story of Anondi continued. By now she accepted her fate. Meanwhile I left home. I would meet Anondi once in a while. In my last meeting I saw she was already grown up. Her parents were trying to arrange a marriage for her. But the coloure of her skin became a problem. Anondi shared with me her sad stories. She was afraid that as her father constantly beat her mother and one day he might kill her. When she was talking to me her eyes were filled with tears.

Then last September I got the sad news that her mother committed suicide. I really felt very sad. I was worried for Anondi. I know my culture! I know my society! I knew how difficult it would be for Anondi to find a life partner. I could only see the darkness ahead of Anondi. I wish I could help her in some way! But...

Life keeps on going. I would often try to collect some news of Anondi. Recently I heard her father kept on taking alcohol. Her brothers stopped going to school. This is what happens in a family without mother...And then, I got the news. A marriage has been arranged for her. She is due to get married in June, this year. I wish and pray finally for her ‘joyful life!’

(I come from a country, where there are many more Anondi...I feel sad for them...the society, the culture, the people are against them...I wish I could reach out them...if I could add little happiness in their lives...)

Faults are thick where love is thin!

I must confess that ‘those days’ I was too simple! Too innocent! I would think and perceive things in different ways than I do today. I was just out of the novitiate, the first stage of Jesuit formation. I prefer to call the novitiate ‘the Jesuit making factory (!). I had just passed a few weeks since I took my first vows. The teachings of my novice director were still vivid in my mind. He knew soon I would be entering into a new world. The two years in the Novitiate was many ways a ‘protected and safe haven.'

How big is my God!

These days often I ask myself, “How big is my God?”

Being in Rome, I am fortunate enough to see the ‘BIG’ places of God. There are hundreds of Churches, lots of holy places related to saints and the tombs of saints and their relics are to be found in every corner of Rome. The priests, religious men and women are very much visible in the streets of Rome. All these places and people are supposed to manifest God. But do we really find God?

The spirituality, which I try to follow, is Ignatian Spirituality. My knowledge of Ignatian spirituality is very limited. But one sentence of St Ignatius, “finding God in everything” always keeps me down to earth. Sometimes I make God BIG and sometimes I make very small. Every task I perform, every word I utter, every moment I spend with others show how BIG or small is my God.

There is a growing tendency to make God small. We are comfortable to make ourselves BIG. Thus we make everything external BIG. This gives us identity. But our true identity God often remains small.

As I often ask myself, how big is my God!, I also wish if I could make my God BIG!

A smile speaks to me a lot!

As part of my pastoral work, yesterday I went to the house of Mother Teresa. My work was very simple. I was helping the sisters to distribute food. While distributing food, I tried to talk and crack some jokes. At one point I noticed someone caught my hand. I looked at him. He was trying to tell me something. But he was unable. With the help of his hands he asked me to get a banana. I went to the store-room and got a banana for him. I could see the joy on his face when I handed over the banana. Then I moved to the next person.

At the end of the meal, I was cleaning plates. Again I noticed some one touched me. I turned my head and saw the same person. This time he was not asking anything. With a broad smile he was trying to say ‘thank you.’ I looked at him again. His innocent smile touched me. It was something very precious. His smile spoke to me a lot. Then he left me. But his smile remains with him…