Friday, May 13, 2011

Nostalgia...

‘Nostalgia’ I must admit that I have a special affection for this word. When I learned this word for the first time, I simply loved it. For me this little word carries certain amount of emotion. I do not really recall if ever I had used this word in any of my writings! But time it comes within my heart…

Yes if am asked to describe my present ‘state of mind or even little philosophically ‘being’ I would have to use this very word ‘nostalgia’. This would express all about me. Now you might wonder, why this time of the year, I am so nostalgic!

This time of the year in India we enjoy our summer break. All my years in India I would eagerly look forward to this time of the year. We, all the scholastics would gather together for the summer programme. When I was based in Calcutta, I would wait for the arrival of my companions from the other parts of the country. And when I was outside Calcutta I would eagerly wait to return to Calcutta. It was simply fun to be with other Jesuits in formation. Oh we would have so much fun. I would particularly enjoy cooking, playing card and pulling each other legs. Those were really grand days. So much chatting, fun, creativity, sharing, learning from each other…

The last time I attended the summer program was in 2009. That year I was happened to be the one of the co-ordinators for the summer programme. We were three in the core-committee: Rakesh, Jeyakumar and myself. As we had some extra work to do, Rakesh and I were given a special room, while all other scholastics were sleeping in a big hall room. Surely I did not like to be separated from the rest of the group but then our works demanded us to do so. I remember after finishing all the accounting and planning for the next day Rakesh and I would chat for long. We would share a lot. We had many things in common. We spent six years together. We had done a lot of things together. If I begin to narrate all these, surely I would need another few pages.

It was just before the summer programme my next appointment for Dublin, Ireland was announced. This was ‘talk of the town’ for that year’s summer programme. It was after a long time and probably for the first time a scholastics from my province was being sent to Europe to do this regency. Though my friends were wishing me, congratulating me, but I could sense ‘sadness’. I knew that I would be missing all these fun soon.

On the last day of our summer program, as we were about to depart, to our great surprise Rakesh came forward and gave a speech to give me ‘farewell’. I could well remember my eyes were filled with tears. Though our formation director Fr Kurian, down played it and said I would be present for the next year’s programme. Rakesh was sad so did my some other friends. I left it to the unknown history. I left Calcutta, my dearest place on earth and moved to my country Bangladesh. After spending a few days with my family I left my country for my next destination Ireland. Initially I would write and chat regularly with my friends. Meanwhile I got the news from Rakesh that he was thinking to leave the Jesuits. When others came to know about it, many of them wrote to me, informing Rakesh’s departure. I really felt sad. I felt something dear was parting from me…

Ok come back to my topic. I know all the scholastics in my province are having their summer holidays. From Ireland I came to Italy. Two years have gone by already since I left Calcutta/Bangladesh. I am quite sure that I would not be able to attend any more summer programme. But the memories of good days will ever remain with me…and this has already begun….thus nostalgia……

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