Sunday, January 10, 2010

Reflection on Friendship

All about Friendship

(Friends are like precious gifts given to us. A true friend can be a companion, guide and philosopher. But unfortunately often  many people say that they do no have any friends. They say they are lonely. In this article I try to explore the art of friendship.)
Bodra was lazing on his cot when the students’ leader Rajesh entered in his room. Bodra, a timid, reserved boy, who would keep himself aloof from the people, received him with discomfort.
 “Hi Bodra, you have got beautiful hand-writing. Why don’t you write for our hostel’s wall magazine next month?” Rajesh said laconically, while gazing at Bodra’s note-book, which was opened in front of him. Bodra was flabbergasted. This was the first time someone appreciated his talent. He has been always leveled as ‘good for nothing’. When he wrote the wall magazine, everyone appreciated his stylish hand-writing. He was elated and began to take initiative to interact with others. Soon he immersed himself in a circle of friends. His hours of frustration and loneliness soon turned out to be the hours of celebration in the company of his friends.
Sujan was known to be very brilliant and smart boy among his peer groups. His parents and teachers loved him because of his honesty and loyalty. But after joining the college his life turned into topsy-turvy. He got involved with some mischievous boys. Initially he would resist joining with them in reprehensible activities but when they began to call him immature, uncivilized he surrounded at their wills. He began to bunk classes and returning home late in the night. His books remained unopened for days. Subsequently, when the result was declared he found his roll number top from the bottom.
These two incidents are the two sides of friendship. We all like to be surrounded by our friends, who will be with us through out all the seasons and make our life enriching and meaningful. A friend is someone who understands us and becomes very much part of our life. Albert Camus said about friend, “Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” There is a Jewish saying, which is quoted in the Bible, “who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.” We all wish to have this treasure of friendship till our last breath. But it is equally difficult to maintain friendship as to find good friends. There are few tips which will definitely help individual to foster a good friendship.
1. Choosing friends
In the journey of our life we come across many people. Among them we should choose someone who has got a good moral value and a clean character. Do not consider someone as your friend at the first sight. Take time to know him or her. You can even test their authenticity in different ways. There is a saying ‘if you are in contact with Sandal, you will smell sandal. If you are in contact with Onion, you will smell that.’ To enjoy the friendship throughout the life we should be very selective in choosing friends. As a friend can be a true tool in shaping ones life at the same time he or she could be an opener to lead ones life in darkness.
2. Keep in touch
The common saying ‘out of side, out of mind’ goes completely against the principle of friendship. Do not take for granted that your friends will always remain friends, unless you constantly keep in touch with them. To foster healthy friendship we should always keep in touch with each other. The best is in person. However, the modern communication has made it very easy. Take time to share your opinions and views, which will definitely foster our relationship. We should also hear the other person’s opinion as well. It should be a two way process. Be a person who shares things. Friendship is all about sharing your time, thought, opinions joy, sorrows.
3. Be a good listener
Most of us wish to talk a lot. We are good at it in times only to speak about ourselves. But many a times we fail to listen to others’ views. When we listen to our friends, we should pay full attention to what your friend is saying. It should be an active listening and not passive listening. Do not make any judgment rather console when required. An active listening always attracts sharing of our opinion.
4. Be truthful
Don’t lie to your close friend. You can share things with your friend which you cannot share with your parents, teachers, partners and children. So be truthful to your friend. A good friend will never reveals the secrets of the friend to others. If one person does it he is not eligible to call as a friend. So search for someone who will keep secret and be one who keeps secrets. Lew Ayres says, “A friend is a one who likes God, has undying faith that we will change our ways and prevail even though the whole world may know our weakness and infamy.”
5. Keep finance and girls matters out of friendship
Some may disagree in this view. But in general it has been proved that often friendship split away due to financials reasons. William Shakespeare says, he that wants money, means and contents is without three good friends’. So if you rally want to keep the friendship keeps the financial and girls matter away from friendship. A true friend will understand your needs and if he or she is a true friend, will help you even without your request. A friend in need is a friend indeed. But let in be voluntary.
6. Be a man of all season
Friendship demands personal care and responsibility. We should never treat friends as a means to climb the ladder of the success. Be with your friend in every moment of his life be it a time of glory or gloom. For some, it is easy to be in good times but not in bad times. Bad times will test real friendship. It is difficult for some to appreciate and celebrate other’s glory, not for a friend. Try to make your friend a success. Henry fort says, “My best friend is the one who bring out the best in me at the same time take all possible help from me.” Give in abundance, it take in abundance. Cesar Romero says, “a friend is someone who understands your weakness and put up with your through good times and bad times.”
7. Take initiative to reconcile
The misunderstanding is part of everyone life. But in true friendship there should be a room for reconciliation. How strong your friendship is testified during the time of misunderstandings. Sometimes it might seem pretty difficult to reconcile. But we should not give away the greatest treasure we have that easily. We have to strive to keep the friendship. As Wilson Mizner says, “the best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.”
Let us make an oath to be friendly with others and have many more friends, who will enrich our life.

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